Not okay.
This Valentine’s Day, I received the following text from a client of mine.
He happens to be the CEO of a multinational corporation.
We had lunch together 5 days earlier to discuss future work contracts.
I should mention that we are both married with kids (his are 20 yrs older than mine) — and this is well known because we talk about it during lunch.
Cue inner panic :
Wtf does he mean by delicious moment ?! Is that even a thing people say?
Lunch wasn’t particularly delicious…
Am I overreacting or is this totally inappropriate?
*Polls 5 people*
Okay, 100% consensus…inappropriate
Ignore it. Don’t lose the client…
Ugh, so I trade my self-respect for money?
It’s not *that* bad. I’ve received worse.
But what if it gets worse? Maybe it’s a test to see if I’m open to this.
If I do nothing, what example am I setting for my daughters?
What work climate are they going to inherit?
Ok chiche…I can’t ignore this.
Drafting a response…inner debate continues :
Is it too nice?
Is it too mean?
I don’t want to make him feel bad.
What are the chances we can keep working together after this?
Get 5 previously mentioned people to sign off on the following response….
Take a deep breath. Push send.
Feeling brave. Report back to my 5-person support team, “I sent it!!”
Just when my feminist karma was soaring….it got worse…
AND NOW I’M PISSED.
I CAN’T BELIEVE I SPENT SO MUCH TIME AND ENERGY ON THIS.
You’re not even going to fake an apology?
*I’m* the delusional one for not understanding your awkward af text???
Let’s all play dumb for a minute and pretend that is the case…you would *still* apologize, try to explain the misunderstanding…profusely.
If I had any doubt before, now I’m sure.
Why am I sharing this? It’s not the scandal of the century. But unfortunately, it is super common.
Too often we silence our discomfort, our outrage, our protests.
For the first time, I spoke up.
If my story resonates with you, maybe next time you can too.
It’s easier to be a feminist in theory, but that’s not going to get us anywhere.