Dear John

It’s okay to feel it. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to try to understand what went wrong. These are all logical and reasonable emotions.
The things that haunt you are all the words and feelings that were exchanged between you two, in intimacy.

Naked in bed, he’s stroking your hair, the fan is going. Your dog tries to jump up on the bed but you have to tell her no. You hate that but at the same time you turn over to cuddle and he takes one leg under his and pulls you so close your head rests on his chest.
He pulls you up to kiss your lips. Gently lays his hand on your face and you feel so god damn good you could explode.

There are some people who come into our lives to change us, and I don’t say that lightly. Some maybe just to give us perspective here and there but some, some come to shake us. To test us. To tempt us. They lead us down a path of hope only to be crushed. But this is a path of false hope. It’s inevitable, and it was doomed in the first place. That’s over now.

Now is where you shine.
Now is where you symbolize what you preach.
No one individual will ever hold your happiness, they shouldn’t anyways. I think one of the biggest obstacles I face is that sometimes I want something so badly that I don’t listen to my intuition when it’s saying “hey this isn’t exactly what you want, stop” 
Time to man up, time to understand that these people are stepping stones. They shape us and they are able to make us understand what manipulation is like at the highest emotion, so we won’t go a-stray later. 
They literally are our building blocks to greatness.

Some are meant for love, and some are meant for greatness. Sometimes your path is a hard one, but it’s not an impossible one.