A Surgical Nightmare: 10 years later
Content warnings:
- PTSD from medical trauma
- Images of X-Rays of my back (with and without hardware)
- Discussion of pre- and post-surgical experience
- Death & fear of dying
- Description of hospital settings
When you google “10-year anniversary,” the first thought that may come to mind are gift ideas to get for your significant other. Traditionally, 10-year anniversaries are symbolized with tin, aluminum, or diamonds. I question whether or not to get a gift for myself this coming July.
Ten years ago, I was 13. I had just graduated from middle school and was preparing to enter high school. I also had completely detached myself from the present moment. I went into July 2010 holding my breath, fully prepared to go through the next month on autopilot. I think back and try to decipher whether or not I had particular expectations of what was to come. The truth is, I don’t know if I had any clue. What I did know, however, was being forced to wear a back brace 23 hours a day for the foreseeable future had already been somewhat traumatic. Surgery felt like an easy out — six weeks of recovery and then I would move on. But it wasn’t. What everybody failed to recognize is that there is no such thing as an easy out for somebody with severe…
