Mom. No. Dad. No. Grandma. No. Grandpa. No. Gabriel. No. Chelsea. No. Joseph. No. Diana. No. Me. Yes.

Now, what am I talking about? My family. I left on the early evening on December 8th. I had to. I had broken a promise. You see, I was miserable… so I thought. I’d also forgotten that months before December, I had promised my grandma that I’d never cut again. And not the kind of cutting like in school when you dodge your principles to go have innocent or devilish fun with your high school buddies. Nope. I’m talking about the kind of cutting that consists of taking something sharp, maybe something as simple as the lid off an old McDonalds cup, or a pair of sewing scissors, almost anything.

Well my signature object was a shaving razor. I had cut my forearm on that December day multiple times and my grandma saw all of them. She became angry. Yelled about all my flaws, inside and out. “You’re hair is always in your face”, “You never talk about anything to anyone”, “You want to see me be a crazy bitch?! I’ll show you!!”, words like this and worse POURED from her lips at me. And I just stood there with a blank stare, which she also commented was a disrespectful look. My grandma kicked me out that night. My mom tried putting me in a psych-ward. I wasn’t allowed to see or speak to my 2 younger siblings ever again.

Shortly after the psych-ward turned me down for being committed, explaining to my mom that I’m not unstable enough to be committed, I was taken to her boyfriends house where she and my siblings lived. I wasn’t to speak to anyone except my mom. That was the rules. Oh! And of course I wasnt allowed to shave since I’d cut myself. So I started using other objects to make her see that she couldnt stop me. So she gave back my razors to me within 2 weeks. She hit me more than she ever had. For any reason she could come up with. My hair wasnt right. My outfit didnt match. I laughed at something stupid. Literally ANYTHING.

So I left. It was clear she didn’t care and all those people, except a couple, directly would say I wasn’t missed and would never be missed. Now here I am.

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