When you’re bed ridden

In the hospital due to a scary seizure I had in my house. I can assure you nothing brings your life into perspective like a near death experience. Literal death. I’ve never been sick a day in my life, I’ve been very lucky that way. Now all of a sudden no one knows what the hell is causing my seizures. When I finally get home I’m completely bed ridden, which totally sucked. I had no strength or energy to go anywhere. All my friends who knew about the seizure rushed over the night I got home. They were so concerned and it was literally over whelming with how much love they had for me. Here I am thinking, but there’s someone missing. Someone who supposedly loves me so much, future wife, and all this non sense yet they’re not even here to visit me. I think it takes a dramatic situation like this to make you realize who really matters. After openly admitting that in order to cope you have to drink your nights away you can’t even apologize for not being able to see me. My friends were here when I got the erratic phone calls. First about wanting to see me, then not being able to. They would look at me like, “Kristina you don’t deserve this.” And they were right and I knew it.

I realized that a time I needed this person most, they cowered away and somehow made it about them self. It takes true talent to turn a situation into something about you when the other person was genuinely deceased for a solid two minutes. And for me to see all these friends with me when I didn’t have the capability or strength to go anywhere it really made me wake up. I finally get to the point to ask for my things and money back and all hell breaks loose. Won’t give me back any money or any belongings. To this day actually. One thing I needed was a video for one of my teaching certifications. Refused up and down to give it to me. And it’s kept to still assume a power over you because they have your belongings and they feel superior. But in actuality the woman’s advancing in her life because she actually made something of herself and this person is once again being a tumbleweed and not doing anything.

Thank you again to all my amazing ladies that were there when I couldn’t go bar hopping or to a movie with you and sat around with my boring sick self. Haha