How Self-Assured Are You?

Katherine Gilliland
2 min readJul 9, 2017

“Confidence is not ‘they will like me’.
Confidence instead is ‘I’ll be fine if they don’t’.”
Christina Grimmie

Being self-assured is simply being confident in one’s abilities, character, and one’s own worth. It is having a strong sense of self that serves as a guide for one’s actions (instead of looking to others to figure out what to do). Self-assured is the sweet spot of listening to others not because you’re trying to get approval from them, but because you genuinely value their point of view.

When we do not feel effective, our self-confidence wanes. If you are interested in becoming more self-assure, one simple step is to identify something you’ve been procrastinating on and act on it — either decide it’s not worth doing, or grit your teeth and just do it. Another take on this is to do something you’re afraid of doing. Overcoming that fear is a huge confidence-booster.

This week’s Challenge: This week, I will build my self-confidence by checking off a “to do” I’ve been putting off (bonus points for choosing something you’re afraid to do)!

Avoiding being Arrogant (overuse): While self-assured is having confidence in one’s abilities, arrogant is having an exaggerated sense of one’s own abilities. While self-assured means not needing to look to others to figure out what to do, arrogance is ignoring others’ input. In effect, arrogance is self-assuredness on steroids (or, more precisely, cortisol). If it’s possible you are inching from self-assured to arrogant, simply attend to Humanity, Resilience and Wisdom by considering impact on others, being open to new ideas, and considering relevant data.

Commendable Trait: Self-Assured
Underused: Insecure
Overused: Arrogant
Strength: Confidence
Quadrant: Courage

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