Ranked: Sparkling Water Flavors
I thought long and hard about what my first topic should be for this.
I have a note started on my phone with a list of topics I plan on writing about and I was debating what to start with, but I pivoted when I got a call this morning from my friend Rob requesting I rank sparkling water flavors at some point. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since our chat this morning.
RULES
- Rankings are based completely off of taste and my personal preference. In general, no consideration is given to cost (sorry Belle Vie), branding, or influence on the market (aka no advantage for LaCroix being the GOAT of the sparkling water industry). **Update after finishing the list: I realized I have a lot of arbitrary reasons for liking some flavors more than others, so take this rule with a grain of salt.**
- This is not a list of what I think other people like the most. I’m well aware some of my preferences go against conventional norms — wait until you see my #1. My list, my preference.
- Re-drinkablity matters. I’ve gone through fads with many flavors, so I value the ones that have stood up to my preferences changing over time. Even if a particular flavor has never been my favorite at any particular time, if it has consistently been in my rotation it will take precedence over another flavor that I drank a lot at one point but no longer drink anymore.
- Multiple brands of the same general flavor will not make the list multiple times. For example, I like all peach flavors regardless of brand. “Peach” will take up one spot on the list, with my favorite brand of peach occupying that spot on the list. You have to be the best in a particular flavor category to make the list.
- Anything that has more sugar or flavor than Spindrift does not count. You won’t see traditional San Pellegrino on this list (although they did come out with a true sparkling water, which would count.)
- I have heard good things about AHA, but have yet to try, so therefore it will not make this list. Also, I know I said cost and branding don’t matter, but for some reason I dislike the Cinate line of LaCroix, so it is disqualified from this list because I never buy it.
OKAY GALV, GET TO THE LIST
#10
Grapefruit — Perrier
Lots of solid grapefruit options out there, but every now and again I enjoy the change of pace of drinking out of the slim Perrier bottle rather than a can.
Note: LaCroix naming their grapefruit flavor “Pamplemousse” is one of the weirdest decisions in the history of sparkling water. I believe they re-branded it recently to “Grapefruit,” but the damage has been done.
#9
Apricot — LaCroix
I debated whether Apricot should have been lumped into the peach family of flavors in the same way that I consider Tangerine and Orange LaCroix in the orange family of flavors. But I guess in this case Apricot seems different enough to merit its own ranking.
#8
Raspberry — Bubly
This ranking will disappoint some. Yes, this means that Razz-Cranberry LaCroix doesn’t make my list. Razz-Cran LaCroix has it’s place in history, but Raspberry Bubly is flat-out better. Raspberry Bubly finishes a lot smoother than Razz-Cran LaCroix does, which is why it takes this place on the list.
Note: LaCroix’s version of Raspberry had forever been called Cran-Raspberry, until recently when Razz-Cranberry LaCroix appeared on the shelves. I found a can of both the original Cran-Raspberry and the new Razz-Cranberry and conducted a blind taste test a few months ago to see if anything was different and concluded that they in fact were the same flavor. LaCroix eventually came out and clarified the mystery on their packaging (see below), noting that they are the same flavor. I suspect the flavor Raspberry is more popular than Cranberry so they decided to lead with the more popular flavor in the name. But again, an odd branding decision by LaCroix.
#7
Strawberry — Bubly
Similar to Raspberry Bubly, Strawberry Bubly finishes very smooth and I appreciate the decision to have a plain strawberry flavor. Enough of the Strawberry-Mango, Strawberry-Banana, Strawberry-Orange, Strawberry-You-Name-It flavors. Strawberry is good enough on its own.
Honorable Mention: Strawberry-Guava Dasani is excellent, despite the combination with another flavor.
#6
Pineapple — Bubly
Recently released as a new summer flavor, Pineapple Bubly jumped into my rotation immediately. It had often been my after lunch beverage choice when I was working in the office. Flavorful and smooth (a theme for Bubly). Nails the Pineapple flavor better than other brands.
#5
Watermelon — Waterloo
Waterloo does watermelon better than any other brand. Watermelon Waterloo tastes natural, which is uncommon for Watermelon flavored anything. Other brands of watermelon tend to taste more artificial. Nice to see one of the non-major brands creep its way into the top five.
#4
Blackberry — Bubly
Bubly nailed their berry flavors (see Strawberry at #7 and Raspberry at #8) and Blackberry takes the cake in that group. Bubly consistently displays it finishes smoother than any other brand. Blackberries are one of my favorite fruits and Bubly does them justice.
#3
Blood Orange — Dasani
Probably the biggest surprise of this list (other than the Razz-Cran controversy). And honestly, under some methods of ranking, Blood Orange Dasani should be at the top of this list. Blood Orange Dasani is bold and BLOWS AWAY the other competition in the orange flavor category. No other brand of orange comes close to the top 10 — in fact they’re some of my least favorite. Unlike other flavors where the brand is less important (see #2), I implore you to drink Dasani if you like orange.
Note: Although Dasani only makes my list once, they’re a highly underrated brand.
#2
Peach-Pear — LaCroix
No surprises here. Who doesn’t like Peach-Pear? The peach-pear combination separates LaCroix from other brands of peach or pear. I recognize peach and pear are different fruits, but LaCroix redefines the category, so thus I’m treating them as one flavor rather than two.
Honorable Mentions: Pear Dasani, White Peach Dasani, Peach Bubly.
Sort-of Honorable Mention: Simply Balanced Ginger Peach deserves to be mentioned due to its uniqueness, but I’m not sure if I actually like it.
#1
Coconut — LaCroix
This is up there on the surprise factor, and I think many will disagree with this decision, but Coconut LaCroix is the most reliable and pragmatic flavor of them all. Coconut certainly isn’t flashy, and I actually disliked this flavor initially, but I’ve grown to love it and it has found its place as the most consistent in my rotation. I don’t know that Coconut has ever been my favorite flavor at a specific time in my life, but inevitably when other flavors fall in and out of my favor, Coconut remains. The simplicity of flavor and clean finish place it at the top. Just because it isn’t showy doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be #1, okay?! Let’s give some love to the underdogs who fly under the radar but still outperform the rest.
Brand Breakdown
LaCroix: #1, #2, #9
Bubly: #4, #6, #7, #8
Dasani: #3
Waterloo: #5
Perrier: #10
Kyle’s Cumulative Quarantine Stats
Days Without Leaving Apartment Complex: 2/2
Days Wearing Sweatpants: 2/2
Days Without Engaging In Person With Another Human: 2/2
Socks of the Day
Unique Activity of the Day
Writing over 1,200 words on sparkling water flavors.
