Curating our mental health
I think we should all talk more about mental health, whether we personally struggle with it or not. The subject is still something of a taboo in our society and, as with most things we fear, exposing it can neutralise some of our self-consciousness. This is a blogpost about my mental wellness, and what I’m doing to manage it.
I should say up front that I’m fortunate never to have suffered with any significant mental health issues, and I’m generally irritatingly perky. I feel blessed every day for that, when many people I love have struggled with the heaven and hell that lies between our ears. But I don’t think that maintaining or trying to improve our inner wellness is exclusively for those who are very unhappy or suffering; we can all do something to make ourselves a little happier and calmer.
Life gets in the way
Anyone can find themselves in tough life situations, which stretch them to their limits – even if they don’t break. That’s how I feel at the moment. I’ve had a great but tricky and full few months; a new and hard job, a suddenly longer commute, a wonderful but demanding toddler at home and life in general have taken their toll on my free time, on my energy levels and on my ability to relax. This has led to some (for me) predictable effects – I’m not sleeping well; my Crohn’s Disease has flared up – and to some predictable behaviour: I’m reaching for the wrong foods for me and not taking time for myself.
None of this has made me miserable, but I’m tired and lacking focus and resilience. I’ve been thinking over the last few days about how I could turn this around, and I’ve decided to take May to actively curate my own mental health: to breathe deeply, be gentle with myself, reject some things I know are bad for me and gather those around me which I know give me strength and help me heal. These steps are for my body as well as my mind, as I know I’m happier and calmer when I’m feeling physically strong and healthy too.
Here’s what I’ve decided to do:
Diet
I eat healthily, but I supplement wholesome food with plenty of things that my body doesn’t really want or need, and I do this more when I’m stressed or tired. During May I’m going to give up processed sugar and caffeine, eat slowly and mindfully, and only have alcohol once a week.
Exercise
I’m at my most content when I exercise regularly. I will run twice a week during May (I’m a keen runner and it’s always the first thing to go when I’m stressed), in the soul-healing countryside where I live. I will practice yoga as often as I can. I will meditate a little every day.
Activities
I’m going to take a bit more time during May to do the things which make me happy and calm. The big four for me are: playing the piano, reading, gardening and cooking. I’m going to do as much of these things as I can. I will maximise my exposure to daylight and fresh air. I’ll go to bed earlier and spend a little less time on my phone.
Humans
I often lose contact with people temporarily when I’m really busy, and in doing that I lose a source of pleasure and comfort. During May I will reach out to 10 people I haven’t spoken to in the last month and just ask them how they’re doing. I will tell the people I love why I love them. I’ll make sure I’m present in conversations and not try to do a thousand things at once when I could be focusing on those around me properly.
Random acts of kindness
Doing a little something for someone else, or for society, takes you out of yourself and makes you focus on the world around you. In May I will perform a random act of kindness every day; I haven’t got a list yet but I’ve signed up here https://www.randomactsofkindness.org/ for good ideas and I know it will include sowing wildflowers, which I do every year.
These are the little steps I’m going to take to give myself a chance to breathe. I hope I’ll be a bit calmer and more content as a result; I might write in June about how it went. If you’re having similar thoughts or are interested in anything I’ve said I’d love to hear from you here or @kitterati on Twitter.
