I am an expert at productive procrastination. This sounds like a positive trait, but I can assure you, it is not. At least not for me in my present situation.
What is Productive Procrastination?
Productive procrastination is avoiding a more important task on your list by distracting yourself with other, lesser important things you need to do. Like washing the car on April 14th when you really should be doing your taxes. The problem is, it is hard to fault yourself for taking care of business. Washing the car is productive and it does need to be done. And, as my wise daughter pointed out, sometimes little wins like this actually give you motivation to tackle those bigger jobs.
How This Scourge Shows Up in My Life
However, when I’m brave enough to look a little deeper into my own pscyhe, it becomes clear that in my case anyway, this is just good old procrastination in disguise.
I am poised to publish my very first book, Falling Out of Love With My Career. Wow, it feels strange and sobering to say that. Becoming a published author has been a life-long dream. So why the hell am I dicking around in the kitchen this morning, experimenting with waffle recipes* when I should be and could be finishing my final edits?
The setting is just about perfect for this type of solitary work too — the house is empty, it is snowing outside, the fire is cozy, the little dog is snuggly, so why am I avoiding this extremely important job? Waffles may be a productive, not to mention delicious, use of my time, but the fact remains they are serving as a distraction from more pressing matters. This is a life-long dream we are talking about here, remember?
Why Do We Procrastinate?
I think it’s gotta be fear driving this behaviour in me. Or maybe anxiety? Both? That right there is a terrible twosome and often responsible for many of my less than shining moments.
I think I am afraid on some level to actually finish and publish my book because then it won’t belong to me and me alone anymore. No longer will it be pristine and full of potential — it will become reality and therefore, available to the grubby masses to put their dirty paws all over it. And me.
And once it is published, there’s no taking it back. No more tweaking words here, moving sentences around there — that’s it, done, finito, the ink is dry. My anxiety says people are gonna be mean. They are gonna find fault with it and, by extension, with me. Poor little ego. Wants to be a writer, but makes waffles to delay finally finishing her book. Silly.
The Role of Courage
Ok, it is time to put away the waffle iron, summon my tatty courage and get this stupid book finished already! Right after I finish shampooing the carpets, promise.
*Check out the waffle recipe here.
