Letting go of guilt and returning to work after baby
When I was pregnant I had no idea what it would be like once my daughter was born. I was so excited for her to come into the world I had no interest in my full time job. It actually made me want to vomit thinking of working one more minute.
Even after she was first born, I absolutely could not fathom the idea of going back to work. It totally seemed impossible leaving this little bundle of love I made behind. She was everything, and consumed all my time and love. I couldn’t have been happier; until………
Week ten of maternity leave. My husband had gone back to work two weeks after she was born and it was just me and this little tiny human that ate, pooped and slept. Sure we had visitors and it was great for everyone to meet her, but that was only about an hour of adult interaction every few days. My daughter couldn’t talk to me, she only stared back likely wondering who this crazy lady talking to her was.
I was torn. I knew I was supposed to be overjoyed to be a mom (which don’t get me wrong I totally was) — but I was also longing for some adult conversation. I felt guilty. How could I want to have a stupid meaningless conversation, rather than be with my sweet baby? I know to some that seems absolutely perplexing, but some of you get me — and if you don’t, good on ya!
Then one day, something clicked. I realized in order for my home life to be successful, I had to want to be successful. Not necessarily in a huge money making, “I’m gonna get rich way.” It was more that I knew my worth and value and that I deserved to be happy. I shouldn’t have to feel guilty. Who cared what other people thought? If it was good for me, then that was all that mattered.
Ultimately when it was time to go back to work, it was really bittersweet. I missed my baby throughout the day, but it felt good to get back into a routine. It was nice to get MY schedule back. I came home every day appreciating her and our time together so much more!
It is possible to enjoy working AND being a new mom. All the sleepless nights and tiring days are worth it. Make the time you are home with your baby count — be involved and invested in your relationship. I promise it will give you a whole new meaning to being a mom/mom boss. As mothers we are capable of so many things. We grow humans for goodness sake!
Don’t let the fear of being overwhelmed get you down. There are things you can do to prepare yourself to be ready to leave your little behind.
New mommas — here is my cry to you. If you work, don’t feel guilty about being ready to go back! Your mental health and well-being is so important to you and your baby’s relationship. Your baby needs you happy. Your partner needs you happy. Invest in you. You deserve to be happy and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!