Hang in There New Hampshire

They say the darkest hour is just before dawn. I imagine nearly every man, woman and child in the state of New Hampshire can’t wait for the next 24 hours to pass.

It’s clear the populace has been inundated with a tsunami of political ads on the TV and radio (if people still listen to that. I think they do), robo-calls, calls from humans manning phone banks. There is probably great carnage occurring on people’s very front lawns if pictures I’ve seen are any indication. Signs for several candidates are probably planted on an overnight basis, a never ending-battle for space. They must pray for heavy snows.

The New York primary isn’t until April, so the number of wingnuts and assholes in the race should drop a bit before then. Super Tuesday usually weeds out the rest of the weaklings. That’s March 1. New Hampshire should eliminate one or two from the Republican side. Democrats are down to just Hillary and Bernie, and Bernie isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

I’m hoping Crazy “Baby Parts” Carly wises up and goes back into her hole. I may regret that because if she stops campaigning, Bill Maher may have her back on his show, and I hate everything that comes out of her mouth. She’s unbelievably full of crap. And smug. You nearly wiped Hewlett Packard off the map and think you’re successful business woman. That’s not how it works, honey.

Kasich is being targeted by the Koch Brothers, who call him an Obama Republican. I wonder what he ever did to them? Everyone is running against Obama. For a lame duck President, he really comes across as the most powerful nightmare any of these guys have ever had. You’d think he gave us free healthcare or something (newsflash, he didn’t. We true progressives really wish he could have. But Congress…).

I had missed that Magic Mike Huckabee gave up, again. He’ll be back next time, spewing the same nonsense about how superior God-fearing people are and bashing gays four years from now. He’s a terrible person.

Marcobot Rubio is on the ropes from his repeating talking point fiasco just last Saturday. He came in third in Iowa, but that was pretty embarrassing. It was be interesting to see how much it hurt him with voters. They (meaning anyone) should re-run his thirsty State of the Union response too. Awkward. The Kid from Florida is not ready for prime time. Christie will stick around just to torment him, despite what Andy Borowitz says (read this. It’s brilliant).

I won’t talk about the other two. I won’t. I hates them. I wants to take them to Shelob’s cave and let her do what she does best. Yes. They’re turning me into Gollum.

I hope Carson never drops out. He is comedy gold. Every still photo I see, he has his eyes closed. And his confusion at entering the debate the other night was sublime. Never change, Ben. And please, DO NOT DRINK ANY COFFEE!