#FTS After 2.5 Days
Jason Chesnut
212

Former worship leader here, who left the church when this sequence of events happened. My son came out. I asked my progressive pastor what would happen if my son stayed in the church and wanted to be in a leaderhip role as a teenager and young adult. The pastor, one of my best friends to this day, said “it’s complicated.” Fuck that shit. I want a community that not only embraces my son, but my whole family as we are. I’m a West Philly raised street urchin made good who has “been to the bottom of a world full of lies,” as Dylan put it. I have no patience anymore for shallow moralism and self serving platitudes. God reached out and saved my fucking life, made me a father, made me a husband, made me a man. And God never once gave the slightest indication, in years and years of prayer and listening, that God had a problem with my fucking language. In fact, the more honest I am, the less I screw up. The more I just allow myself to be myself (in relationship and mutual concern, that is crucial of course), the less I get twisted up in self-deception and justifying bad choices. FUCK. THIS. SHIT. The narrow moralism is killing the meaning of the church, and turning it into a parody of itself. GOD doesn’t wait for people to get through finishing school. God doesn’t even wait for them to clean the bloody knife. God is fucking cray-cray like that. Thank you for this. You possibly have no idea how much I needed it right now.

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