i’m terrified of what’s to come: flashback to before college

as i sit here being copilot to my mom as we venture along the highway with cars escalating passed us, i’m wondering what will unfold in the weeks to come.

college. love. friendship. family. hope.

everyone told me that the best years of my life would be high school. they said i’d never want to leave and every second i’m out of it- that i’d want to go back. they were WRONG. nearly every moment of my high school career consisted of me counting down the days until freedom, until peace.

going to high school in a small town made it even worse. i wanted to soar and to grow, but i couldn’t do either in the place that i was. i had to get out, i had to venture into unexplored territory, so i could find myself again.

going to kentucky for three months was invigorating and powerful and changing. incredible. but now what?

i am about to move to a place that is so unfamiliar to me. a place i’m soon going to call home. but how? what if i hate it? what if i don’t feel like i’m at home?

the only one who knows how the next two weeks of my life will turn out is the Lord and i’m so trying to put all of my trust in Him in ways that i’ve never before had to.

it’s my prayer that in the next few months i grow through the experiences i learn at college. i pray that the new and essential love that i’ve found. expands and grows in insurmountable ways. i hope we continue to grow and to love eachother so deeply. (and this is about the only thing i’m confident in right now.)

i am confident that going from 576 miles away to 636 miles away will make me miss him even more. i’m even more confident in the idea that this distance, these weeks apart will make us stronger than all other relationships around us. the weekends that we do get to see each other are the driving forces to moving forward and making this whole long distance relationship work.

“it’ll hold!”

college. i am absolutely so excited to endure the next four years of learning and moving forward with my life away from a town that leaves you feeling nothing but empty. i am ready to feel full. full of life, freedom, happiness, joy, challenges, growth, and strength.

the support i feel is limited to my own and his too. His above anchors both of those.

everyone else, they’ll catch on. if they dont, they’ll miss out on a world of accomplishments and dreams that they never believed i could achieve.

the next four years are for myself and for who i will be in the future. it’s time i do something for me.

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