Black Girls’ Beginner Guide to Mental Health — Part One: Therapists and Psychoeducation
Baby steps I took to support a less anxious me through therapy and psychoeducation
We would have to be completely disconnected from media and people to not hear or experience that, as black women in America, managing our mental health is a precarious but necessary task.
But, when you are ready to try, where do you start? Though mental health support options are seemingly abundant in today’s world, it can be easy to lose motivation as you search through therapists, figure out insurance, rationalize that “you got this” in the wait time, and start to wonder if you believe in mental health, even more so if you don’t have severe and sudden symptoms or specific life events to push a decision.
Even as someone who considered myself an advocate of mental health and #positivevibes, it took me years to take myself to get help and, when I did, I did it skeptically. Nevertheless, the small steps I took to prioritize and explore help have made a perceivable positive difference that snowballed in effect as I began to see more changes and take more steps.
To get started, here are ways I began to create a mentally healthier me.
Two things to note:
- My symptoms were mostly consistent with anxiety and depression; the tools I share helped me to relieve corresponding symptoms.
- If you are in a crisis, have thoughts of suicide, or are at risk of immediate harm for yourself or others, I don’t advise a “baby-steps” approach. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1–800–273-TALK (8255), text “Hello” to the Crisis Text Line at 741741, or call 911.
University Counseling
The first time I saw a counselor, I went through my university as a graduate student. Not only did I want to know, as a graduate student studying school counseling, what my role might look like in real life, but I also had unaddressed mental health issues of my own. I had never been in a place where getting help was a blatantly obvious path, but, refreshingly, my graduate school did a great job of reiterating in different settings how students could access counseling.
I first made an appointment with a black woman who had all the accolades! And she was awful. So, I went back to the drawing board and found another amazing black woman. She explained that the university used a short-term model of care, which meant she would likely only see me up to 6 times whereas it sounded like I was interested in longer-term help. In the end, I ended up using my university health insurance to pay for 8 sessions (the maximum) of community-based counseling with an equally amazing Latina counselor from the university’s referral list.
Having a specific number of sessions that I could take advantage of made therapy a less intimidating ordeal for me to explore. Even if I was still skeptical about how it would help, I could give it a few sessions without feeling like I was sacrificing too much and getting more than I was giving.
Employee Assistance Program
After graduating and finding a job, I was excited to have insurance with my job (a luxury I hadn’t previously had as a non-profit fellow living off stipends and fervent prayers for no medical emergencies). I wanted to continue the progress I began to make from university counseling, but, when I began to look at therapists that were covered by my insurance, the number of options was overwhelming and I quit looking.
In 3 months' time, I was feeling the effects of a lot of transitions, the most major one being returning home after 11 years of globe-trotting and supporting my sister in giving care to my critically ill father. When I started having increased symptoms I now know are indicators of anxiety and depression, I decided to look for a short-term counselor through our Employee Assistance Program, which covered 5 sessions per episode.
I was given a referral list of eligible therapists near the zip code I provided and tried to call the counselors on the list that I saw were black and women by Google searching. Unfortunately, the women I identified all worked in a nearby high school’s mental health clinic and wouldn’t be able to see me. Getting impatient, I redid the search with a new zip code nearer to home and took the first woman on the list. She specialized in solution-focused therapy and cognitive-behavioral therapy and provided several tools and worksheets which was perfect for our short-term relationship and my needs at the time. One of the best tools she shared with me was the Ten Commandments for Taking Charge of Your Life (Helpful Information for Women) along with introducing the idea of Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs).
One important thing I learned from our relationship is I didn’t have to like my therapist or fully identify with her to get valuable insight and relief from our sessions.
She was a fast talker and I am a slow processer which was our first mismatch. Then there was the fact that, when we talked about my work in ethnically diverse communities, she said cringey things that some progressive white people seem to have specialized. They have deep sympathy for poor people as individuals who are, in their minds, all inevitably people of color. Yet, somehow they equate poor people as a community as lazy, manipulative, and dangerous criminals. This came out in session 2 out of 5, so sessions 3 and 4, I learned to talk about my internal processing and family rather than the demographics of the city. In session 5, we had a nice termination and I felt glad to have worked with her and, yet, hope to never see her again. I had learned gems that kept me grounded for the whole process of seeing my father pass, grieving his death, supporting my family throughout, and picking up life after.
BetterHelp
BetterHelp is a teletherapy service that feels like a nice safe exploration space for me, especially in the midst of a global pandemic. When you start, you get referred to a therapist based on your selected personal preferences. There is less stress and time wasted in getting to the physical location of your therapist. You can message in between appointments and schedule the next appointments online. And there is a flat fee for the service which, on average, is less expensive than in-person therapy with insurance.
I signed up for the service and then ghosted my therapist after a few exchanged messages (I was hoping I would be able to go the traditional therapist route with insurance, but as I mentioned, that was a little bit too much stress for me at the time.) I reconnected 10 months later, set three goals with my therapist before our first conversation, and had about 8 sessions with her. I decided I wanted some time without therapy, and since I was paying a monthly fee, canceled my subscription with the option to reconnect with the same therapist if I return to BetterHelp.
Also, BetterHelp put a stake in black mental health which is something I love to see.
If none of these options seem feasible or desirable for you, the below articles might provide alternatives:
Woebot
In my opinion, cognitive-behavioral therapy, or CBT, is a great beginner style for psychotherapy treatment and mental health given its straightforward way of showing the circular connection of our thoughts and resulting emotions and behavior.
Woebot, a self-care and mood management app, utilizes principles from CBT to guide users through daily conversations, mood tracking, and education on how our brains work.
Every time you open the app, you have the option to debrief your day via a check-in or go through a prepared lesson with Woebot, a friendly bot. Woebot communicates with algorithm-prompted responses based on what you write or select out of pre-written responses in the chat. Lessons cover topics like growth mindset, thought challenging, cognitive distortions, and healthy lifestyle habits. As a follow-up, WoeBot checks in with you throughout the week on things you have “discussed” in previous chats.
I liked it because it gave me a truly non-judgment free and protected space to process bad days, celebrate good days, mark progress in my mood, and really examine my thoughts to see which ones were contributing to stress and depression.
Change Your Brain, Change Your Life
Full transparency, I’m still working through this book. But, the parts of Change Your Brain, Change Your Life by Dr. Daniel Amen that I have read have helped me understand the different things in my diet that might contribute to my anxiety, reemphasized the concept of automatic negative thoughts, and introduced new coping skills that are linked to brain science. Being the skeptic I am of how culture and bias impact the field of mental health, I like the neurological evidence the book provides of how brain health impacts our daily life.
Boundaries
Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by Christian psychologists Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend is a book that has often been recommended as an intersectional source on Christianity and mental health. I think it’s highly recommended for a reason; as part of the Christian faith, we are called to love people as the second-highest commandment behind loving God. But, I know I can get an “amen” when I say that figuring out how to carry that command out in different settings can be the main source of some of our biggest stressors.
Two large stressors for me were holding others to my expectations of what they should be doing and me trying to live out what I thought were others' unspoken expectations of myself.
Boundaries guided me in thinking about how I may have constructed that thinking, places where it was causing me to feel stuck in a rut, and a new structure to love people while also living the life of peace that God desires for me.
Douglas Boch
I actually love this man! He is a depression survivor who reflects on how his own thinking and habits impacted his condition and offers skills and tools he’s learned on his recovery journey. His psychoeducational videos come in 6 to 10-minute chunks which made them easy to listen to, even with my very short attention span, on my way to work. He has a special place in my heart because he provided me my first explicit (albeit virtual) testimony not only about being depressed and what it feels like, but also about recovery and tools outside of therapy. Plus he has corny jokes to kick off every episode which I think is just precious.
Other Therapy and Psychoeducation Resources
Mental Health America — Mental Health Online Screening
Online screening is one of the quickest and easiest ways to determine whether you are experiencing symptoms of a mental health condition. Mental health conditions, such as depression or anxiety, are real, common, and treatable. And recovery is possible.
Mental Health America — Mental Health Resources For Black And African American Communities
Includes information for resources like Therapy for Black Men, self-exploration therapy cards, and various directories of black mental health practitioners.
The Mighty: 8 Mental Health Resources for Black Folks — Because You Deserve Support
Here you can find therapists providing free access to sessions, directories or therapists of color, supportive apps, and more.
Are there other therapy and psychoeducation resources you have found helpful in your mental health journey? Let me know what they are in the comments!
Read “Black Girls’ Beginners Guide to Mental Health — Part Two” on black girl community and coping skills.
