Debunking myths about mentoring
As an Advocate for Women in Tech, I’ve spoken to hundreds of women about mentors. Most want to engage a mentor, but might hold themselves back because they don’t know how to make the ask. It feels awkward to say to someone, “Will you be my mentor.”
It can also feel like an imposition. “They’re so busy, why would they spend any of their precious time mentoring me?”
But it doesn’t have to be awkward or feel like you’re asking for an impossible favor. There are some sure-fire, simple approaches anyone can take to engage a mentor. And I was thrilled to share my favorite approaches with Poornima Vijayashanker when she interviewed me for Build, a new video series produced in partnership between Femgineer and Pivotal Tracker.
My interview spanned three episodes: why some people are reluctant to seek mentoring, how to approach mentors, set expectations, and thank them, and becoming an effective mentor yourself.
Let me give you an example of the tips I shared in the video series:
To get over the initial hurdle of seeking a mentor, I recommend that you step back and identify a career goal. Perhaps you want to file your first patent. Or move from engineering to product management. Or master Instagram marketing skills.
Then, think about who has done this before and could share their experience and advice with you. And think about what you will ask that person. Get specific. Not “will you be my mentor.” Instead, “I want to file my first patent. Can you meet with me for 30 minutes to tell me about your experience with filing patents at our company?”
Or “My goal is to become a product manager, & I’d like to learn from you. Would you be available for a 1 hour meeting each month for the next 6 months? I’ll bring the questions, you provide the advice.”
Did you notice that these asks are time-boxed? One 30-minute meeting. Or monthly one-hour meetings for six months. You want to be clear about what you’re asking the other person to commit to. You want to make it easy for them to say yes.
And for longer mentoring relationships, I recommend building in a break-up date. For example, six months. Without this end date, it can get awkward. Imagine you feel you learned all you can from that person, and no longer want to meet with them regularly. With a break-up period, you can simply say thank you at the end. And if you’re still learning from them, you can always ask if you can meet for another six months.
That’s just a taste of what Poornima and I discussed in the three-part series. Watch the videos to get more tips for building your career with the help of a mentor. And let me know if you have questions or additional tips by leaving a comment below. I’d love to hear from you!
Three-Part Video Series on Mentoring
