You Are But A Custodian: Giving It Back To Life
Recently I have been reflecting back on what had been a difficult time in my life. I had really sold my self on the idea that I was being harmed. Not just beat up, but being robbed. There has been a great laundry list, ex left, Dad died, business failed, partner stole $75,000.00 and fled the country, grandpa died, lost my dog. There’s a lot more, but I am so tired of thinking about it that I just want to put it in a better context and move on. Plus, I think that it gets the point across that it has been a difficult few years.
Here’s the deal, all of the hardships that I went through were about how I perceived it all to be. None of it was actually the way things were. We have this idea about “ownership” in the west when in reality we are just custodians. The world owes us nothing, and humans own nothing that can’t be taken away in a natural, personal, or human created disaster. All of our loved ones will “leave” or we will leave them. All things are moving into form, through form, and out of form. Meaning, nothing really belongs to us. Not even our self. Sure, we are wired to assimilate it into our sense of self, but even that sense of self is temporary.
Instead of seeing the external world (our well-being, our relationships, our purpose, our finances, and our communities) as something we own, why not create the mindset of what it truly is. We are the master or custodian, but none of it truly belongs to us. So we can’t truly lose it, only be compelled to give it back.
We are travelers on this path of life, and as travelers we will eventually leave everything behind. Was it nice and beautiful while we had it? Surely, but do we do ourselves and our well-being any favors by claiming ownership over something that CAN NEVER BELONG TO US? Nope.
As Marcus Aurelius said many centuries ago,
“Think of yourself as dead. You have lived your life. Now, take what’s left and live it properly. What doesn’t transmit light creates its own darkness.”
― Marcus Aurelius
The most important way we can see our self and the world is by having correct beliefs. The Universe organizes itself for the greatest good, not for us to get what we want, and so we must set ourselves to submit to everything that happens and willingly (even if solemnly) accept that everything is brought to completion by something far greater than us. When we do we will remain unaffected by the “will of the gods” and accept it knowing that it is not up to us. The only thing that is up to us is whether we live by our nature to live in accordance with nature. Whether we Get what we want or not everything has happened as it is was meant to be, and there is no reason to blame or hate what or who we feel caused it.
In order for us to be insulted or harmed we must believe that we are being harmed, and not benefited. If we accept that the Universe is working within a law of good, we have to admit that this can not be true. It is only our impressions of our perception. This is why in both Yoga and Stoicism they lead us to move beyond the impulsivity of our impressions. If we feel provoked, broken, or beat it is us who is complicit in feeling this way. It us who has not been able to shrug our shoulders and come back better the next time true to ourselves.
In reality it is often these difficulties that bring out the best in us. It is an opportunity sent by the Universe to become stronger not to feel wronged. Life has decided to match you up with a great opponent, not so that you could cower but so that you can conquer. This will not happen without blood sweat and tears, but it will show you the beauty of what you are. When life takes back what belongs to it, do so willingly and take on the challenge it presents. When it presents great opportunities that you fear “losing” take on the challenge with all you have, and be willing to use it to get better.
In Closing
Pain in life is a requirement, but suffering is optional. It may be as hard to admit for you as it was for me, but I know that in my moments of weakness I chose suffering. I will fully admit that I was injured, and I take nothing away from my experience. Yet, I know that it was my estimate of the pain, and specifically feeling like it shouldn’t be happening, and not the pain itself that had me shook the most. That had me on the verge of quitting.
However, here in lies the essence of my recovery, and return to my own badassery.
“Here is your great soul — the man who has given himself over to Fate; on the other hand, that man is a weakling and a degenerate who struggles and maligns the order of the universe and would rather reform the gods than reform himself.”
Seneca
I could wish for things to be different, but they never will be. I can never “get back” what the Universe has taken back. That life is over. This one will end. Everything will pass, but the one thing that will remain forever is whether or not I lived my life all out in accordance with my nature and accepted my fate. Did I do everything I could with what was up to me?
For periods of my life, I absolutely did. During my dark night, not so much. From here on, I make it my mission to accept my fate and do my best no matter how much or how little the Universe sees fit to give me, and God willing to help others to do the same.
My hope is that you will follow me for a while until we have to give ourselves back, but knowing that together we can create great joy and explore our curiosity with gratitude and love.
So leave me a comment, lets connect and see what synergy we can find to live the truest version of who we are.
