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America, it’s time to deport the white people.

We’re bringing crime, we’re bringing drugs, we’re rapists…

America, I’ve had it. Maybe it was the latest terror attack. Maybe it was the burden on our economy, or the threat to our liberties, but I’m on the train. I’m fed up with political correctness. I’m not coddling any more. We all know what the problem is.

It’s white people. Yes, I said it. I know it’s not popular, I know the mainstream media will have a field day, but we all know it’s true. If we want to Make America Great Again, we have to deport the white people.

White people flood our prisons. We take away jobs, and we drain the welfare system. We’re the largest consumers of illegal drugs, the greatest users of social security, Medicare, and Medicaid, and we want to impose our religion on the United States. All the wars in US history have been declared by white people. Our worst laws were written by white people.

I’ve even heard that, on November 8, when the Republic fell? There were white people celebrating in New Jersey.

Look, let me lay the case out for you.

White people bring disease.

Sure, we white people are the biggest consumers of American health care costs. That huge burden on the national budget? That’s us. We have the longest life expectancy, and everyone knows the oldest people are the most costly. But let’s be real here: Remember what happened after white people came to North America? Eighty to Ninety percent of the continent died from the diseases we brought — somewhere between 8.5 and 138 million people.

And it’s not like we didn’t know — just a few centuries before, the Black Death wiped out more than half of Europe. And it’s not like this is in the past — when Ebola finally came to America, how did it get here? A white guy brought it.

White people bring crime

Do I even need to cite statistics, when 58% of the people in American prisons — getting free meals, watching free TV in their free beds — are white? The Bureau of Justice statistics says nearly 57% of violent crimes in the United States are committed by white people.

Every time some guy massacres a crowd of innocent people, whether they’re at a movie screening or a country music festival, attending church or elementary school… It’s a white person.

White people commit the most welfare fraud — and while I’m at it, the majority of unemployed people are white. More than 40% of food stamp recipients are white. The next largest group is less than 27%.

The whole history of white people in America is crime. We kidnapped people from Africa and forced them to work for us. We murdered thousands, maybe millions, of indigenous Americans. We stole land, we oppressed people… and literally every war the United States has ever fought was started by, declared by, and involved, white people.

Oh, and let’s not forget…

White people are rapists.

Forget about Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey, they’re just the latest to be exposed. How about Thomas Jefferson? How about Christopher Columbus?

White people hate our freedom.

What white people really want is to impose their religion and laws on all of us. We want to force everyone to say “Merry Christmas.” We want to prevent people from marrying the wrong gender, and to keep women from having abortions. White people think only members of our religion should be allowed in Congress, and we build monuments to our religion on government land. We’ve even inserted references to our God — a God worshipped by criminals, terrorists, and murderers — onto American money and the national anthem.

White people enslaved another race for centuries, and then fought a war to defend that slavery when we feared it would be repealed. When we lost that war, white people had the nerve to build monuments right near the sites of the worst tragedies in that war.

Make America Great Again

White people claim we’ve been a majority in the United States for centuries, but if you count all the slaves of African ancestry and the indigenous people living within the borders of the modern U.S., white people only became a majority in the mid-1800s. On a continent that’s been home to Americans for more than 10,000 years, white people will be the majority for maybe 200 of those years.

White people didn’t do the labor that built the American economy. That was done by slaves, and immigrants from places like China and Ireland and Mexico — and none of those people were considered white at the time. White people sit in corporate and government offices, collecting paychecks and making all the decisions that have led our country to where it is today.

It’s time we did something. I say we deport white people back to Europe, where we came from. Then, the American government can institute a merit-based immigration system. They can allow a few thousand of us to return each year, provided we can demonstrate a positive contribution to American society.

After all… some , I assume, are good people.

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