5 reasons you didn’t love Paris
Poor Paris. No other city in the world carries such a heavy burden of expectation. We dream of visiting it our entire lives. Some leave enchanted. Some leave underwhelmed. Some swear never to return.
If you feel like you spent your whole trip standing in queues and overpaying, I reckon there’s a good chance you followed a familiar pattern. Find out how to do it differently.
1. You stayed in the Latin Quarter
The original stomping ground of artists and revolutionaries. The quintessentially romantic Paris where Hemingway scribbled, Picasso painted and Sorbonne students gathered on every corner to drink cheap wine and swear allegiance to the eternal truths of liberté, égalité et fraternité.
The problem is Hemingway died in 1961 and artists haven’t been able to afford to live in this part of town for at least three decades. Times change here as they do everywhere else and unless you want an “I ❤Paris” t-shirt, you’re in the wrong place.
The fix: For a more authentic vibe, try the 4th in Le Marais, the 11th around Le Bastille or the 18th in Montmartre (up the top of the hill). You won’t escape the tourists completely, but you’ll get a much better taste of Parisian life. In point of fact, if your heart is set on the Latin Quarter, friends who love the area tell me the spirit is very much alive, but you have to look hard for it. This slightly older article from The Guardian is quite a nice read.
2. You went to see the Mona Lisa
Da Vinci’s masterpiece and the most famous painting in the world. Is she smiling or isn’t she? What secrets is she hiding? You want to unlock them!
Well guess what? So does every other person who comes to Paris. The painting’s about the size of a postage stamp and there’s never not a football crowd in front of it. Plus you either got up super early or queued for an hour to get into the Louvre. Give it up.
The fix: Do you even like art? If you’ve never been to another gallery in your life, don’t bother in Paris. People trying to tick a box make it worse for everyone. If you do enjoy galleries, some of the other big and busy (but slightly less busy) options where you can still check a few big names off your bucket list include Musée d’Orsay (some lovely Van Goghs) and Musée de l’Orangerie (famous for its Monets). Here’s a list for more inspiration.
3. You strolled along the Champs-Élysée
Or perhaps that should say you shuffled. The volume of tourists on the world’s most famous shopping street pretty much impedes, you know, shopping. Plus, contrary to the avenue’s ritzy reputation, it’s full of the same mediocre mega-franchises you see everywhere else.
And please tell me you didn’t eat there! The cafés are almost uniformly awful and expensive, and while you may be able to indulge in a spot of people-watching, very few of these people will be French.
The fix: For luxury window shopping of the kind you might have imagined, head to rue du Faubourg Saint-Honoré, which runs parallel to Champs-Élysée but roughly a block north. Or for a slightly more affordable but still elegant French shopping experience, try Galeries Lafayette on Boulevard Haussman. The building is stunning inside (check you’re in the original store, which now houses just the women’s fashion) and the shopping is extensive. Ladies, a treasure trove of shoes on the very bottom floor and lovely lingerie up on the fourth.
4. You tried to change the menu at a restaurant
“Could I please order X, but without Y and with extra Z. Oh and can I have A on the side instead of on the meal?”
Guys, just don’t even. Yep, I know, wheat makes you bloated, dairy makes you sick and you’re trying to stay off sugar … I advise you to suck it up. French chefs take a lot of pride in putting together their meals and they really don’t like to change them.
You may also have paid €9 for two coffees or €22 for two pints, which, when converted into Aussie dollars at least, does make for some pretty expensive refreshments.
The fix: I don’t know the origins of the saying ‘when in Rome …’, but I can tell you that whoever said it hadn’t got to France yet. When in France, do as the French do. There really is no other fix for this one; you can like it or lump it.
This goes for the expensive drinks too. These things are outrageously priced because they’re essentially only there for the tourists. In all the time I’ve spent in France I don’t think I’ve ever seen a local order a cappuccino or a big British beer. If you can switch to an espresso and a glass of house wine or a Heineken, your trip will get a lot cheaper.
5. You were expecting this at the Moulin Rouge ….
But you got this. Yes, that is a takeaway burger joint next door.
The fix: Oh, just re-watch the film! Paris can’t fulfil every fantasy!!!
