A sophisticated poem about yoga.

Ugh, I don’t want to go.

It’s rainy and wet. My feet hurt today. I’d rather watch shows and drink wine.

Perhaps I’ll just drive towards the studio. I can change my mind at any point. And at least say I tried.

Damn it, look at all those skinny, limber bitches already inside.

Fine. But I won’t like it.

Okay… this is going well so far. Nice and easy. Yup, letting my thoughts go, releasing stress, being present… what else you got?

You want me to do what? Oww. Oww. That’s uncomfy. I need to pay my cell phone bill. I think the dogs are overdue for shots. I could really go for another cup of coffee…

How has it only been six minutes?! God damn that was the longest six minutes of my LIFE.

Ooohhh… *crack*. That felt good. Oh, yeah, I forgot my body could move that way. Mmmm.

I hate that bitch in the pink. With her Lulu Lemon. Aren’t you so cool, blowing your whole coffee shop paycheck on one pair of overrated leggings. You’re so hot. You’re so good at this. Go to Target like the rest of us realists.

Oh, right. I’m relaxing. Non judgmental. No thoughts at all. Ommm.

Another downward dog?

I wonder how long it took her to learn to teach yoga. I could do that… be a yoga teacher. Be all centered and flexible and calm and hot.


Stretchy, stretchy… wow, I’m actually getting a little tired! Wonder if I’ll be sore tomorrow. Otherwise this barely counted and I’ll have to do cardio.

I hate cardio.

Warrior one… wow, I’m lookin’ good. Check me out.

Ahhhh… shabasawhatever time.

I am literally asleep.

Now I’m staunchly awake and wondering where in the fuck I am.

Shit. Namaste to you too lady.

*Not a thought in my mind as I drive in silence feeling like literal jello with an utter calmness.*

I should do that more often!

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