Women in Business and Sickies

This article is published in partnership with one of my clients and highlights the pro’s and con’s of employing women vs. men in business. I have worked with them to write this article and the views may not be my personal opinions.
It has recently been reported in the media that women take more sick leave than men, in fact the uk loses 140 million days due to sickness with the minority being men.
Minor illnesses such as coughs and colds are the main cause of calling in absent, although people at smaller firms are less likely to take time off.
Our Experience
We have over 50 members of staff working for our firm, 65% of these are women who work part-time. In our executive board, this is made up of 50% women and 50% men.
We felt it was very important to portray equality at the top of the tree and on top of this both men and women are on equal pay grades and bonuses.
With our middle management which has a quantity of 10 members of the team, this is made up of 7 women and 3 men, however it used to be a high of 12 and there were 9 women against 3 men. This changed due to maternity and new opportunities, cost cutting meant that these were not replaced.
General Staff is made up of women and men, quite a close ratio but nevertheless the women are the trouble causes. Equal right demands, additional leave and complaints about the men coming on to the women.
So with that last sentence lets break it down into a new chapter.
Women at Christmas Parties
The days of using the photocopier to scan arses have gone, each year our firm bulk purchases tickets to the Roundhouse Christmas Parties in Derby. Each year the ladies use it as an opportunity to dress up, lead the men on for free drinks, a few kiss and tells and for their memories to wipe in the morning.
Men on the other hand, go out, have a few drinking matches, see who can kiss the blonde from accounts, the brunette from customer management and see if any are up for a night in the Pentahotel in Derby.
Most fail, some do score the prize. But this can have a detrimental effect on moral in the office. For the men, they think they’ve got a chance, for the women (even the taken ones), it’s a notch on the bedpost.
The men then up their game, by a few gifts, offer of dinners and the girls don’t want any of it. Before long, they raise a complaint with HR and they land in my office. We know the story, both sides have bragged and its got back, but how do we deal with it.
Usually it ends up that the man leaves employment and the ladies wait until the next Christmas party, where history repeats.
Equal rights for women
There are many genders fighting for equal rights for ladies and that they want treating equally. In our firm, we try and accommodate this where we can. However, it does push my buttons when these same women out of work expect the men to open the doors, pay for dinners and generally put women first.
But is that equal?
I don’t believe it is, if women want to be treated equal they pay their half of the dinner bill, they open their own doors or go second and they let men give birth to babies.
Thats never going to happen, we know that but equal surely means equal. And these do-gooders are harming business not helping.
Excuses for not coming to work
So let’s start with the men, top 3 excuses.
- Man Flu — Although very rare as most of the male team come in full of snot, coughing and sneezing and need to be sent home.
- Coughs, Colds, Sneezes — Again, most turn up and have to be sent home but the odd one can reach for their phone to call in but not a tissue.
- Car has broke — Now this is my favourite with a story attached to it. With M running late and really can’t be bothered to do is Monday after a heavy night on the Sunday, M decides to proceed to drive around the corner from where he lives, pulls into a lay-by for the effect of cars passing and calls me to say that he has got a puncture and that he hasn’t got a spare. In the meantime, S pulls in behind in his hybrid car and notices M on his phone. Thinking M may need some help, S waits for the call to finish and for M to turn around and face him. In the meantime S can hear M saying about his puncture and takes a look at his car on the off-side, then walks around to the near-side. No sign of any puncture. M finally spots S and goes quite red faced and starts stuttering on the phone. M has no choice but to go into the office and we sit around the screen in the meeting room and laugh back at the dashcam footage, with M just about escaping not only a warning but a driving ban for smelling of alcohol. For the record M had a lift in with S.
Top 3 excuses for women not coming to work.
- Cold — Yes, even the lightest of colds can stop our women from coming into the office.
- That time of the month — Short tempers, emotional wrecks, these can all cause a phone call into the office
- Weather — I’m not saying they call in when the weather is bad, but if the weather has turned to snow or is icy, most women cannot either get their car started or drive in the snow. However, the ones that do it most are the ones that live next to Railway Stations that all have regular trains to Derby station, where our offices are located 10 minutes away. One girl who lives by Spondon train station said she needed to get a Taxi from her house which is 5 minutes away due to the snow and the taxis weren’t running. Even after sending train times and ringing taxis she didn’t turn in.
- Tired — Another poor excuse, with one girl saying she couldn’t come into work as a dog had been barking next door and kept her up all night. Yet Mum’s with young children are up at night feeding come in with no issues.
- Twisted ankles — High heel shoes are dangerous and cause all kinds of issues, enough to warrant at least a week off work.
I can count and I know there is 5 for the women and 3 for the men, but my point being that women call in sick more than Men. As per the Daily Mail Article.
What about the Men in Business
If you feel like all I have done is knock the women in business, let’s look at the men. I feel that men in our workplace break the mould.
Men in our workplace gossip more, its not the women that spread all of the latest stories on whether D is seeing H outside of work, or T has a secret crush on E. Or even W isn’t working correctly and cutting corners.
Men gossip, they do it in a different way to women but they are bad.
Bitchy men in the workplace, far worse than the women and can have tempers or tantrums when they don’t get their own way.
Men on the other hand work generally more out of the office, check emails on their phone instead of selfies on Instagram, however, lack the attention to detail that women bring in our business.
The secret is out
I’m really grateful that Keep Schtum has allowed me to write this article and remain anonymous, I’m well know in the Derby business circles and on Pride Park but it allows me to share my opinions without affecting my business relationships and staff morale.
The revelation is that I am a woman, yet criticising women in business. I have the evidence to back it up and believe that people should get on with their work and earn honest money.
My ethnic background is one that puts men first, women are sidelined. Yet modern society and my husband is supportive that times have changed, women can be the bread winners but it takes hard work and no sick days and excuses.
We don’t need sick days, we don’t need flexible working arrangements, we don’t need equal rights. We need to pay people for their skills and experiences. If a women wants to take time off to raise a family, it’s not an issue. If you need parental leave, it’s not an issue. If you are seriously ill, we’ll support you.
But if you’ve got a cold or you are tired, get off your arse and come to work.
