Vulnerability is not a human strength; it is the human truth
Years ago I decide to do some deep therapy work. I was struggling with overwhelming surges of emotion, and I couldn’t quite understand where those where coming from. One morning I had a particular successful session. Which meant I kicked, screamed and cried like a 5 year old for hours and hours. I was a mess. I was the mess I was as a five year old to be precise. For some reason I had planned to lead a Masterclass Corporate Compassion one the same day. Straight afterwards actually. For some reason I must have thought that this would be no problem. But sitting in my car — clearly all messed up — I knew that this indeed was a problem. I was in no shape to play the role of teacher in front of 20 some marketing and managing directors. But I knew I could not cancel as well. These folks where on their way already from all over the Netherlands. So I decided that I had no other option than to go exactly the way as I was at that moment; as a vulnerable mess of a man. I walked in the classroom a couple of minutes later and was confronted with 20 strangers. Serious, senior business-people to be precise. I wanted to share my emotional therapy-experience with them, but I couldn’t even make it to the third word in the sentence before bursting out in tears. I somehow managed to share my story, and asked the group permission to be their teacher for the afternoon ánd a five year old mess. Because that was exactly as I felt. I couldn’t be anything else. I was expecting rejection. I was expecting them to not be OK with this request. At all. But that didn’t happen. At all. One women — that was still a complete stranger at that moment, because we hadn’t even yet introduced ourselves properly — started to cry as well. And within minutes, I witnessed how all the serious, senior business- people turned into real humans. I could see with my own eyes, how they stopped playing the role that was on their business-cards, and started being themselves. Somehow my — extreme — vulnerability gave them permission to break down the walls around themselves; to show a side of themselves that normally got repressed. Because that side wasn’t considered business-people-like. Business-leaders are supposed to be strong and together all of the time. We expected them to know all the answers. That’s what makes them leaders; right?! Well, that afternoon we discovered the absurdity of that assumption. That afternoon we discovered we always remain human. Small, shy, scared. That afternoon we discovered that deep down we are all equally vulnerable. It is often said that vurnerability is a strength. It is not; it is the truth. That afternoon we shared that truth. We were human amongst other humans. We talked about very intimite stuff, we cried together, we hugged each other. It is — until this day — the best business-workshop I have ever given. Although we didn’t discuss business for one second…
