With the winter storm looming and the forecast getting more and more severe by the minute, I was flying down the beltway as quickly as I could, trying to get home on Wednesday evening. I cycled between my two cars and got them both filled up with gas before the initial chaos hit. We had a little dusting that evening, just an inch or so of snow, but it brought our entire city to a halt. Typical 30 minute commutes turned into three or four hours in a matter of minutes. Thank God I had already made it home. I started packing my bags and locking up the house — I was determined to not get snowed in home alone.

The next morning I had a delayed start at work. I woke up early, started my car, swept the snow off, and enjoyed a cup of coffee while Jack Frost slowly melted off of my windshield. I left an hour and a half in advance — and was still 45 minutes late to work.

DC Traffic is never fun

I sat through a brutal two hour commute, most of it at a complete stand still.

The thing that pissed me off the most about that hellish commute was that my bluetooth receiver had broken, and was only playing music out of one side of the car.

I worked Thursday and part of a day on Friday. Luckily they let us out at noon on Friday, so I wrapped up my work for the day and shot into Odenton, MD as quickly as I could. I grabbed a quick cup of coffee with Annie while I finished up some emails, then met up with the guys for lunch.

We all landed at my best friend Nick’s house. He’s located in the middle of the main sub-division, making it easy for everyone to get there. His house has always been a landing place for the lost youth of the town. Plus his mom made the fatal mistake of buying a Costco sized box of Hot Pockets, so we were set to get snowed in.

We were all locked in on Friday night. The guys were upstairs playing video games and I was downstairs curled up with my girl watching a movie. The snow started falling heavily around 7 pm, but it didn’t matter, we were content with where we were.

No one I’d rather be snowed in with.

I woke up the next morning to this:

Nick’s decked out with his mom’s old Air Force issued gear. I had a hoodie.

The amount of snow out there completely blew my mind. Coming from spending the majority of my life in South Carolina, I had never seen anything like this before.

The guys were still sleeping late into the morning — and I was already getting cabin fever — so I suited up and went outside to start digging my poor car out.

After about twenty minutes of what I thought was successful shoveling, I had a woman approach me:

“You’re not from around here… are you?”
I said “No ma’am. I’m from South Carolina.”
“I can tell. You’re a mess. Want some help digging? I’m from New England — I’m used to this.”

I obliged and we started digging together, swapping stories through the wind’s piercing squeal. Her girlfriend came over a little while later and helped us get my poor little Audi out. Turns out they were both active service with the National Guard and Army. So yeah, I was rescued by two lady soldiers. I owe them a drink.

According to German Folklore, I should be able to drive right through this… or maybe the Audi salesman lied to me.

My little plastic shovel didn’t stand a chance against the feet of snow blocking my freedom.

We spent the rest of Saturday just hanging out and watching movies. That night, we got another 11 inches. Thomas walked about two miles in full out blizzard conditions to get to the house so he could hang out too.

Sunday morning was interesting, as every man, woman, and child came out of the woodwork to start digging. Nick and I dug for four hours straight then said screw it and walked up to the local Italian place to get some pizza. — Subsequently, it was the only place actually open.

We were excited to have actual food again.

We got the Audi out eventually (again) and I wanted to take it around the block a few times to have some fun. I went down some back roads and got it sideways, drifting around corners like they do in Fast & Furious (OK, maybe it didn’t look that cool, but it felt pretty awesome) Every time the snow got high and the car would hunker down, Quattro would kick in and save my ass. I yelled QUATTRO! in celebration each time it pulled me out of a predicament — but I think I hit the unspoken limit. My car had decided to not save me anymore.

After picking Annie up, I went to go park in my spot — and got stuck in the middle of the road. Four wheel drive couldn’t save me now. By this point my back tires were spinning freely in the air. No ground contact whatsoever.

Damn, and I’m just starting to think this girl might like me? Not anymore, my dumb ass got myself stuck trying to park. Real smooth, Kegan.

She actually ended up steering the car into the spot so I could help push. I have officially fit the stereotype of the guy who got his sports car stuck in the snow.

Work was canceled on Monday so I spent the day drinking coffee and avoiding responsibility. (I brought Annie coffee too since she had to work )

Grande mocha no whip (but I got it extra hot, double cup so it was still warm when I gave it to her — Little things matter.)

Nick and I stupidly decided to make a “quick” trip to my house in Fairfax, VA to check on things and possibly switch out my cars. That wasn’t going to happen. My Corolla was about 7 feet deep, and 3 feet high into the snow. No plow had been through, and the driveway is impassible. I went inside, got a weeks worth of clothes, and limped my way back to Maryland. I wasn’t about to face another brutal morning commute.

So yeah, that’s the story of the past few days — A true Southern boy’s first blizzard. I honestly didn’t even know that snow pants were a thing. Nikes, jeans, and a hoodie are all I need to survive a winter in South Carolina. As unprepared as I could possibly be, I’m thankful for my team and our neighbors for helping my sorry ass out.

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