A recurring theme in my life is "you're too quiet, and that's a bad thing; you need to be more social." And I used to feel terrible about it. I still do sometimes. To the point where I try to force myself to socialize the way society expects people socialize—always to my own detriment, and the detriment of those around me, which always makes me feel like a burden. But I'm learning that I shouldn't feel bad about how other people are reacting to my quietness. Because there's nothing wrong with it.

For many people, it's easy/easier to learn a…

What does is say about us that we are so focused on making people of color fall in love with white people, especially at the cost of a relationship with other people of color?

Now, before I get into it, I want to say this: I don’t have the expectation of any single piece of media to be perfect at anything it’s trying to do. Specifically because there’s no such thing as a single, perfect piece of media. There are too many people with too many experiences regardless of whether they’re of similar or different identities. It’s impossible for one team of creatives to tell every single story ever told.

That said, it would also be wrong to never point out where any piece of media we consume falls short because no piece of…

(Content/Trigger Warning: Suicide, death.) Because this is a part of my life that I’ll have to continue to explain for the rest of my life, I’m trying to start the process early.

Suicide is one of the most taboo conversations that exists today. Even though there are a large number of successful suicides and an even larger number of attempts (a little over 20x the rate of successful ones), and suicide has been part of life since forever, we still don’t really talk about. We urge people to reach out and call hotlines and 911 whenever there’s a widely publicized…

SPOILER WARNING FOR SUITS!

I first fell in love with “Smoke and Mirrors” by Gotye when the second season of Suits premiered. It’s the first scene of the season. Mike walks into the office, and is terrified at the prospect of Jessica figuring out that he’s not actually a lawyer, that he’s been practicing law without a degree, and that it’ll mean the end of his time at Pearson Hardman. I watched that episode a hundred times just to watch that scene. It’s one of my favorite scenes in the series. …

Just because certain cultures and subcultures, particularly those created by PoC communities, exist doesn't mean that it's for mass consumption. You can certainly enjoy and observe and be inspired by said cultures, but it's not a requirement that you *have to* participate because you enjoy it. Not everything is for everyone, and we really have to start understanding that.

Most of those cultures and subcultures were created by PoC communities in order to preserve their identity, give others in their community a sense of belonging, and as a way to process themselves in a world that's taken away almost everything…

If you didn’t know it already or haven’t been paying attention, Pose is the most important show you’ll watch on TV. It tells the story of Blanca Evangelista (MJ Rodriguez), a trans Latina from NYC who, after being diagnosed with HIV, decides to start her own house in the ballroom scene both to leave a lasting impression in the world and to give other queer and trans black and Latinx people in 1980s NYC a home, a place to be, and a desire for more from life.

Over the course of the eight episodes of season one, you see her…

This has been something that’s been on my mind for a few years now. And while this tweet is talking about all interracial relationships—regardless of whether it’s PoC + PoC or white + PoC couples—I’d like to focus on the idea that white + PoC interracial relationships are inherently, and sometimes seen as more, progressive.

In most shows and movies where there is an interracial relationship, it’s usually a white + PoC couple (some examples of shows and movies are: How to Get Away With Murder, House of Lies, Shameless, Quantico, Glee, Pose, Preacher, Andi Mac, A Wrinkle in Time

The year was 2012, and times were a bit more simpler. Our president was black. Marvel’s Cinematic Universe was still in its infancy. Adele’s 21 was still dominating the charts. And at the beginning of the year, Showtime low-key blessed the world with a hidden gem called House of Lies.

The series followed Marty Kaan (Don Cheadle), a management consultant, his pod (made up of Jeannie van der Hooven played by Kristen Bell, Clyde Oberholdt played by Ben Schwartz, and Doug Guggenheim played by Josh Lawson), his tumultuous relationship with his ex-wife, Monica Talbot (Dawn Olivieri), and his relationships with…

On Queer White People and Racial Preferences: Talk Amongst Yourselves

This is a special edition post about the subject of racial preferences. Specifically on why y’all—Queer White People™ — need to honestly start having this conversation with each other. I’ll be honest and say that I almost didn’t write this article. …

You looked at them and wondered why they were so ugly; you looked closely and could not find the source. Then you realized that it came from conviction, their conviction. It was as though some mysterious all-knowing master had given each one a cloak of ugliness to wear, and they had each accepted it without question. The master had said, “You are ugly people.” They had looked about themselves and saw nothing to contradict the statement; saw, in fact, support for it leaning at them from every billboard, every movie, every glance. “Yes,” they had said. “You are right.” And…

Kay Salvatore

Sarcastic Mr. Know-it-all.

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