Embracing empathy

Maybe you are not an oversensitive person, maybe you are an empath

Kei Hysi
Kei Hysi
Sep 5, 2018 · 6 min read

If you have ever been called an overly sensitive person or too emotional during your lifetime, there is a big chance you are an empath. If you search for the word empath you can see this definition: a person with the paranormal ability to perceive the mental or emotional state of another individual. But what does it really mean and is it a real thing?

Empathy is the ability to understand the feelings of others. When someone is an empath, it means they have an especially deep understanding and connection to the feelings of people around them. Empaths can feel other people’s feelings almost as if they were their own. And yes, it is proven to be a real thing.

Researchers have discovered a specialized group of brain cells that are responsible for compassion. These cells enable everyone to mirror emotions, to share another person’s pain, fear, or joy. Empaths are thought to have hyper-responsive mirror neurons, they deeply resonate with other people’s feelings.

But what makes empaths stand out in a crowd?

1. Empaths are highly sensitive.

Empaths are naturally giving, spiritually open, and good listeners. But they can easily have their feelings hurt, too. Empaths are often told that they are “too sensitive” and need to “toughen up.” In today’s society somehow showing feelings or being vulnerable is seen as a weakness and this makes it difficult for empaths to fit in. For this reason empaths try to hide the fact that they are so sensitive.

2. Empaths absorb other people’s emotions
Empaths are highly attuned to other people’s moods, good and bad. They are like a mirror to other people’s energy. They feel everything, sometimes to an extreme. Because empaths can feel so much, it is better for them to not engage in negative situations or negative people, to not listen to bad news or watch violent movies. Empaths perceive everything as their own feeling so it is necessary for them to control what they feed their mind with since otherwise it can lead to exhaustion, panic attacks or even depression. Because they are so good at absorbing other people’s energy, they can tell if someone resonates positive or negative vibes.

3. Many empaths are introverted
Empaths become overwhelmed in crowds. They tend to be introverted and prefer one to one contact or small groups. But this does not mean that all empaths are introverts. They can also be extroverts but for a specific amount a time. Too many people, too much noise or color is exhausting for empaths. That’s why empaths tend to spend some time alone after meeting with a large group of people, they need to “recharge their batteries”. Practicing meditation or yoga may help them reconnect with themselves again.

4. Empaths are highly intuitive
Empaths experience the world through their intuition. They can tell right away if they like someone or not. They have this ability to notice people’s energy and thus understand people and their intentions toward them. If an empath doesn't feel good around somebody it is probably because they have noticed their negative energy. Empaths make most of their decisions based on intuition, and they are right most of the time. Naturally, empaths are very connected to their own feelings.

5. Empaths need alone time
Being around people can exhaust an empath both mentally and physically so from time to time they need alone time to recharge their batteries. It is crazy how much they need alone time. They may choose to write in their diary, practice meditation, stare at the stars, being close to the ocean, or just listening to music. This is a need for them in order to get back the energy they need in order to deal with the world again. Because they tend to give so much, they somehow are left empty, but while spending alone time they get back their energy and are ready to face the world again.

6. Empaths can become overwhelmed in intimate relationships
Too much togetherness can be difficult for an empath. Because they tend to absorb others emotions too deeply and are so sensitive, empaths tend to give too much in a relationship and sometimes it feels like losing their identity. That is why alone time is needed even in a relationship. This may be perceived as something weird for the other partner, but for an empath it is necessary to find his identity again. It might seem like an empath is pushing you away or distancing themselves from you, but in reality, they’re just trying to take a break from absorbing your feelings in addition to their own, which can be exhausting.

7. Empaths are targets for energy vampires
An empath’s sensitivity makes them particularly easy marks for energy vampires. The especially dangerous ones such as narcissists (they lack empathy and are only concerned with themselves) can make them believe they’re unworthy and unlovable. The same way as light attracts insects, empaths attract narcissist people or energy vampires.

8. Empaths become recharged in nature
The busyness of ever day life can be too much for an empath. The natural world nourishes and restores them. It helps them to release their burdens and relax in the presence of green wild lands or the ocean. For an empath it is quite impossible to stay within 4 walls for a week or sometimes a day. They need sunlight, they need fresh air, they need to feel as they belong to the earth. Empaths love to walk bare-feet in the beach, feeling the ground, being connected to the nature.

9. Empaths have huge hearts but sometimes give too much
Whenever they see somebody who needs help, they will do their best to help somehow. Maybe the friend who is having a bad time, the homeless guy sleeping in the street, the hungry dog, the lost old man who doesn’t remember his house’s address. Whoever and whatever, they will be there for them. It is difficult for them to say NO when somebody asks for help and they often prioritize others.

10. Nonverbal language reader

Empaths are great at understanding your nonverbal language. They can detect it when you are being cold to them, when you are emotionally unavailable or even the opposite when you try to get closer to them. They can understand if the hug you give to them is a real one, with feelings involved or not. They can understand the intentions of people even by the way they handshake. They can tell so much about you, from the way you use your body that you do not even realize. Empaths are also extremely attuned to micro changes in facial expressions, shifts in tone of voice or how misaligned someone’s body language may be from what they are actually saying.

Only 15–20% of population in the world is considered to be highly sensitive or empath. Which is indeed not much. Nowadays the word empathy is being used often, many people talk about it and even in CVs you may find it as a quality being an “empathetic listener” as a plus. Some people use it without even knowing the real meaning.

I believe that being an empath should not be considered something that everyone has to pursue, or the “new cool thing”. It is a good thing indeed to be an empath but only at some level, because it makes people “more HUMAN” and affectionate, but at the same time it leaves empaths themselves exhausted. An empath needs to learn how to set healthy boundaries and how to accept his feelings and use his qualities in his favor, otherwise empathy can be a burden.

If you want to see the difference between an empath and a non empath person just show both of them a violent image or a video which includes some sort of suffering. You will see that the empath person will not be able to watch more than a couple of seconds while the other one is completely detached from what he is watching. One absorbs the feelings, the other does not.

To all empaths out there: Learn how to embrace your empathy and understand that this is a beautiful gift given to you, but you need to take care of the way you use it so you can make the most out of it. Take good care of yourselves :)

Kei Hysi

Kei Hysi

Expressing myself through words

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