3 simple to steps to ensure business failure — Whoopee! We’re all gonna fail!

avoid epic business failure by Keith Lynch

Hey there kids — Want to ensure that your business fails?

Of course not but since every other marketer will attempt to offer little (useless) nuggets that supposedly ensure your success…. I thought it would be slightly more strategic -and fun- to reverse engineer it and outline the 3 simple steps to ensure failure (and maybe how to avoid them?).
Seems easier, right?

You know I hate fluff & hype so let’s jump in…

Here are you three steps to virtually GUARANTEE failure:

1: Lack of money —

Yeah, yeah. I know there are countless posts by “gurus” who promise that you can launch any business with zero capital and still earn millions by next Thursday. Put your wallet away and make sure that your bullshit detector’s batteries are charged. Don’t worry, you are not alone — I used to drink that Kool-Aid, too. Still believe it’s possible? Then you should definitely purchase said “guru’s” ebook to discover the secret ninja tactics that he or she will surely reveal for $7. When you’re done, let’s have a grown up talk about how to start a business and make money.

The cold, hard truth? It does actually require some cash. Not a shit-ton, but it does require at least a small investment of some kind. Sorry if that stings a little but it’s the truth. Plus, let’s be honest…. if you don’t have some skin in the game, you won’t really do anything to see it through.

So if I haven’t pissed you off or offended you yet, stay tuned — here’s the point: Invest in your business. Don’t have money to invest, you say? Even just a little? Really? I call B.S.. If you want it bad enough, you’ll find it.

However, if you need more money to launch or grow your business than you currently have….. keep reading. I have a solution for that, too.

2: Marketing —

The 2nd easiest way to fail in business is to NOT market your business. Duh. You can have the cure for cancer but if no one knows about it, does it really matter? This SHOULD BE a no-brainer but entrepreneurs never cease to amaze (read: disappoint) me.

It’s very simple… If you have a product, service or business — you NEED to effectively market and promote it. The old adage of “If you build it, they will come” only applies to dildos and homeless shelters.

BTW, just throwing money at marketing without a plan or strategy isn’t actually marketing — it’s desperation and bad judgment. I’ve spent THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of dollars on failed marketing campaigns over the years. In fact, I’ve spent way more on failed marketing attempts than I have on successful campaigns. Yeah, (un)education in business can be really fucking expensive.

There is a method to the madness of marketing and if you don’t know what you’re doing, you can and will lose your ass. I promise.

EXAMPLE: If I offered a $50k budget to 10 business owners each for marketing their businesses, I wager that 9 out of the 10 would lose it all, with little to no ROI. The 10th guy is a liar.

What’s my point? Well, just having the balls and a few bucks to throw at marketing your business is in no way a guarantee of success. This is not one of those scenarios in which “just showing up” is half the battle. You need a blueprint. Educate yourself. Which brings me to the 3rd and final step….

3: Mentoring —

I’ll be honest, I really HATE that word. It’s lame. It’s stupid. It’s boring. However, it’s a necessary evil.

Pay attention because I’m about to drop some truth-bomb-awesomeness that most “experts” won’t tell you…..


Other people know more shit than you do.

BOOM. (drops mic)

Here’s the deal…. when it comes to business, marketing, branding, technology and a brief history of dog sweaters (long story — don’t ask) — I know my shit. Seriously.

But…. there are hundreds, if not thousands, of people who know way more than I do. They know more because they’ve done more, spent more, started sooner, etc. That’s life. That’s business. There are TONS of experts who know way more than YOU do. Don’t be ass-hurt by that fact. Just find them, STFU and listen to what they have to say. That, my friend, is called mentoring. My business (and life) changed forever when I found a mentor and you’re no exception — yours will, too.

So as lame, boring and stupid as it may seem…. put on your big girl (or boy — no judgment) panties and level up your business by locking down a mentor.

Told ya, truth-bomb-awesomeness. Thank me later. :)

Do you ever fart in the shower? Well, don’t. Starting a business without monetization, marketing & mentoring is kinda like farting in the shower. It stinks and you’re trapped. It’s a choice and you don’t have to do it. Don’t be a shower-farter (or a biz fail). Hit me up personally for some guidance and coaching — it’s what I do. CLICK HERE TO SCHEDULE A STRATEGY SESSION. It’s Free and I promise to not discuss shower flatulence or dog sweaters.

PS — Don’t be shy, comment below. I’ve got plenty of haters — you won’t be the first nor the last so feel free to verbally assault me in the comment area. Oh yeah, compliments & validation are welcome, too. Rare but welcome.