Paula Yates: A Victim of a Misogynistic Media
Paula is forever defined by her relationships but never as who she was as a plain career driven, loving mother to four little girls. She was an important part of 80s pop culture in the UK, yet she’s constantly forgotten now except to talk about how she “ruined” both of the men she loved: Bob Geldof and Michael Hutchence of Inxs. This piece isn’t about them though, for once something is being written for just her. Just Paula, a shining little pixie that was another victim of a misogynistic media.
Warnings: mentions of drugs, suicide, and death
Paula was born in Wales on April 24 1959 to Elaine Smith and Jess Yates. She had a rather unstable life, there was a 19 year age difference between her mother and (who she thought) was her father. They had an unconventional marriage, leaving Paula on her own a lot. She said her childhood was lonely as her mother would be gone for days on end. She was quoted as saying she used to lay outside of her mother’s bedroom door at night so “she might still be there in the morning.”
Paula started partying when she was a child, losing her virginity at 12, & snorting heroin for the first time at 13. She eventually left school at 16 to move to London and be involved in the punk scene. There at a party around 1976 or 1977 she met Bob Geldof, which started their long relationship.
First Paula wrote about various bands and their gigs for different magazines and also tried modeling, including posing for Penthouse in 1979. But the journalism career was more her thing. She was dubbed “the princess of punk” by the papers during this time.
Along with hosting the show she continued writing columns for Cosmopolitan and other well known magazines. Paula also tried singing and released a cover of “These Boots Are Made for Walkin” but I don’t really consider that a high point in her career lol. She released the book Rockstars in Underpants (which was a book of snapshots of various rockstars in their undies) which was a big hit. In 1982 she began hosting The Tube with Jools Holland, Paula became quite the “It Girl” in the Uk. Known for her quirky but stylish fashion and her flirty personality everyone adored her. Many people have called her a mix of Marilyn Monroe and Mary Poppins.
Paula was well loved by her peers but also the public and she had her own perfume (which is hard to find now but there’s a few bottles of it left online). Among her famous friends were, Duran Duran, David Bowie, Yasmin Le Bon, Princess Diana, Jennifer Saunders, Andy Warhol, and George Michael.
In 1983 she had her first daughter with Bob, who was named Fifi Trixibelle. Paula had another daughter named Peaches Honey Blossom and Little Pixie (known as Pixie) in 1989 and 1990 respectively. Her daughters were her whole world, she wrote a few parenting books and also children’s books over the years. Paula was always a hands on mother even when she was busy with her career, she talked multiple times over the years about caring for them, especially since Bob wasn’t very hands on during that time unless he had to be. She was known as the boring one around the set because she rarely went out for drinks after filming, she would be home before 9:30.
Paula and Bob watched a special on the tv about the famine in Ethiopia in 1984, after being shocked by it she had a jar to collect money in her kitchen for the cause. After that her and Bob spoke about him maybe doing something to raise even more money and the idea of Band Aid was born. Midge Ure appeared on The Tube one day, behind the scenes Paula spoke to him about Bob’s idea before putting the two of them on the phone together. She also had a lot to do with many of the acts that were called to play on “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” and later play at the Live Aid concerts.
She and Bob worked hard to put the concerts together, especially the London one. Not only was she there by his side during the whole day, she also watched Fifi, and did plenty of broadcasting. Some of those interviews can be found on youtube.
Paula also was there for organizing Fashion Aid and Sport Aid which were both functions for their cause, she attended both events.
In all the chaos of Live Aid Paula realized she didn’t buy any flowers for when Princess Diana and Prince Charles would come. So on her way to Wembley that morning she stopped off at a gas station to buy flowers.
After Live Aid, Bob was knighted by the Queen which changed some things. He was no longer a punk rocker, he was an activist. It was something Paula always supported but it changed how the public saw him and “Saint Bob” started being tossed around.
In 1986 after 10 years together Paula and Bob got married first in Vegas and then in the UK. For the English wedding Paula wore a striking red dress and was given away by Simon Le Bon. The guests included David Bowie, George Michael, John Taylor, Midge Ure, and many other famous faces.
While Paula was almost always dedicated to Bob, he wasn’t always faithful to her. When she was pregnant with Fifi in 1982, he had a semi long term affair which seriously hurt Paula. On Paula’s end there always rumors of her possibly cheating but she always said she was devoted to her husband.
The first time she met Michael Hutchence on The Tube in 1987, he asked to take her back to his hotel, she turned him down. Paula had said previously, “I’ve never looked at another man, why should I when I have Bob? Also I don’t believe in divorce and that makes you try much, much harder.”
Bob on the other hand had a different thoughts on marriage and long term monogamy, “To live your life in a state of passion would be tedious because everything is distorted. It is extremely dull and limiting. Sexual passion burns out.”
The rumor is when Paula and Michael first met in 1987 she said “I’m going to have that boy”, many people paint her as some crazed stalker. I haven’t found much proof that those tales are true, so choose what you want to believe. It is confirmed though that she had a picture of him on the fridge at her home that Bob crossed out. Paula did this frequently with up and coming music acts that she loved like the Gallagher brothers of Oasis.
There’s more rumors that say Paula and Michael started hooking up around 1987, but there’s no proper proof of it. By that time Paula was still dedicated to her family. It wasn’t until she found out about Bob’s recent affair (with his now wife Jeanne Marine) that sent her to Michael.
After being with Bob for so many years Paula said she started to feel suffocated by his controlling ways, when they first got together she didn’t feel controlled. She felt protected and safe, but she was young and vulnerable. Now she was grown up and hurt by Bob’s affair, but this time she was independent.
Seven month before she began her affair with Michael, Paula said she saw herself as a “steaming Jezebel given half an opportunity. Why can’t I be? Why can I only be this great lactating person?”. Asked if she was storing up an emotional time bomb, she replied: “It probably is, and I say to Bob it will be terrible. It will be like the Exorcist.”
Paula became a host for a new show called The Big Breakfast in 1992, it was produced by Bob’s production company. Paula had many fun interviews on her big bed on the set. One of those interviews was with Michael in 1994. They laid on the bed, legs draped over each other, and giggling like teenagers. It was Paula’s big “fuck you” to Bob, cheating on her with a younger woman, and even after Paula gave him everything. The two were totally smitten and the whole UK knew.
A paparazzi shit show carried on afterwards, there were many pictures of Michael and Paula together at restaurants and rumor mills were running wild. There’s always the big theories that Paula called the paparazzi herself and she wanted Michael only for the fame, but once again those were never confirmed. In 1995 Paula and Bob filed for divorce, the court proceedings went on and on and on until 1996 as Bob made things more difficult especially when it came to custody agreements. Paula and Michael welcomed their baby Tiger Lily a few months after the divorce was finalized.
Unfortunately the media was not kind to Paula, the public that once loved her so dearly now hated her. They called her a slut and a druggie, they wrote about how she was a terrible mother, and how poor Bob was left alone and heartbroken. The same paparazzi that killed Princess Diana, harassed Michael and Paula. Michael spoke in interviews about how surprised he was that the England press was so misogynistic. They started to make plans of maybe moving to Australia, but other things got in the way.
Paula’s career was now non existent, she lost her job at The Big Breakfast and no one else would hire her. She used to be England’s darling, but now she was hated, and it really hurt her. Later on Paula said in an interview, that she felt like the victim of a witch hunt: “Bob is still perceived as St Bob, and me as his wayward wife.”
Bob was determined not to surrender custody to Paula, he didn’t want her and Michael to be happy (even though he was living in the house now with Jeanne). Many friends have said that Paula truly loved Michael and for the first time she felt a new spark in her, unfortunately Michael did introduce her to a more crazy way of life than she was used to.
He was suffering from brain damage from a previous accident in the early 90s, it’s unclear if he ever mentioned it to Paula because he didn’t mention it to anyone. Since that accident the liaisons on his brain caused a loss of smell, extreme mood swings, and more drug taking than he had done before. Many reported Michael and Paula were serious drug addicts, once again there was no proper proof of it. Friends said they were more party drug takers, especially since their children were so important to them. One of the final straws was in October 1996, two months after Tiger Lily was born. The two were busted for drugs found under their bed in their home, but the circumstances were fishy.
A nanny for Tiger Lily let a mystery woman into the house that no one knew, soon after the police busted in, and found a small amount of opium. It was later said that it wasn’t enough for two proper addicts. However Tiger Lily was taken out of their custody as Michael and Paula fought this in court. Bob got full custody for the time being of his daughters, and his ex wife and her lover were in shambles. Even now there’s still rumors buzzing that “Saint Bob” had something to do with the planting, Paula quipped at the reporters: “I think we’ve had Live Aid and now we’re getting Lie Aid.” Luckily the case was dropped for lack of evidence and baby Tiger Lily went back to her parents, sadly that wasn’t the end of it.
In November of 1997, Inxs went to Australia for a tour and Michael had plans that Paula would come down with the children. Bob blocked it, leading her back to court. Michael was truly reaching a breaking point, he couldn’t stand that Bob was stopping him from bringing his daughter to Australia. That night on the 22nd, Michael called Bob and tried to reason with him but it just ended up in a huge argument. No one to this day knows what was said, but the next morning Michael was found dead hanging in his hotel room.
Paula was inconsolable, she blamed Bob for his death. She told reporters, “What do I tell this little girl? How do I tell her that her daddy isn’t here? That her daddy has committed suicide? Michael obviously flipped. He was worn down by three years of this torture.”
After his funeral, Paula lived in denial that Michael took his own life, and refused to believe that he would leave her and Tiger Lily. She spent her last 3 years trying to prove that his death was an accident, that it was autoerotic asphyxiation. That angered the Hutchence family but it made things seem a little easier for her poor mind.
Six months later Paula found out the man she thought was her father, Jess Yates wasn’t. Her real father was Hughie Green (he was dead at this point), her world was crumbling before her eyes. The year following Michael’s death she stated, “I spent so long waiting for Michael and then he died. Now I have to spend so long waiting for him again.”
As Paula did more drugs she lost custody of her daughters with Bob and Michael’s father Kell was worried about his granddaughter and went to court to try and get temporary custody of Tiger Lily. Soon Paula was sent to a clinic after a suicide attempt and Kell stopped his court actions, but Bob kept going and soon enough she could only see her other daughters on holidays. In the clinic Paula began dating a fellow drug addict, but she found no solace. He sold a story to the press airing her dirty laundry, which helped her out none.
Paula changed, she was fragile and broken. She was worn down but for now she was sober and she was sober for two years before she died. There was talk of her coming back to television and maybe things were looking up, but she found herself back in court trying to get custody again, and also trying to get more than just £2million pounds for Tiger Lily from her father’s estate.
“It’s only the mothering instinct that makes you willing to suffer every day. I know it sounds like a Victorian novel, but it’s true. Right now I still think living is a noble gesture.” She said in an interview one year before her death.
On September 17 2000, Paula was found dead in her apartment by her friend, Josephine Fairly Sams. Josephine called to make sure Paula was going to call her daughter Pixie, since it was her tenth birthday. However four year old Tiger Lily answered, claiming mummy was still asleep. The coroner’s report said that the amount of heroin found in Paula’s body was not enough to kill an addict. She had been sober for two years until that day, she was 41.
Soon after her death Bob began to foster Tiger Lily, to keep her close to her sisters. Michael’s sister Tina tried to apply to adopt Tiger on the condition that she’d bring her to see her sisters. The judge dealing with the case denied Tina the permission to apply, letting Bob adopt her in 2007. Tiger Lily only saw her grandmother in Australia one other time after that and Bob didn’t allow her to see her before she died.
In the end Paula Yates was and still is the victim of a misogynistic and sexist society/media/business that never gave a damn about her unless she was the selfless mother/sexy wife to their saint.
She was betrayed by the media she not only worked for but was always appreciative of just because after her husband cheated on her at least twice she was over his controlling ways and wanted out and new love. This caused her to lose everything, her partner, her career, her money, her daughters, and her life. Even now her legacy is totally ignored except who she fucked and those men are seen as the victims while she’s the evil drug whore who ruined their lives.
