there are things i constantly deny about myself, and this is something that i am actually very used to doing
denial does you a favor for once in a while, because you believe in it, and you have faith in it, until you dwell in it, and you convince yourself that you’re not as bad as you think
and then truth always comes around the corner, butts in the conversation, reminds me of all the things i owe to life
and second chances
and denial bails out on you, because denial is a coward, and truth is ever so convincing
and then all my clenched thoughts, and tight joints, they loosen to cater all of the achies, marching in a straight line, towards the hollow of my chest
where i’ve had it rented for so many times
without anything in return.
denial tries to get me out of the bars- where i’ve placed myself in- and tries to coaxe me out of self-loathing
but what denial conceals
is a handful of fresh regrets.
but for what i’m still worth, denial has heightened my chances of living
has given me hope that if i could deny everything that has a potential to destroy me over and over again
i can always survive.
even though it takes a few frustrated tears out of my tired eyes.
but i have enough water in me i can drown in.
and maybe, it’s always better under the sea.
anyone know how to swim?