Kendall Jenner Saves The Oppressed With A God Damn Pepsi
Kendall Jenner, one of two of the Jenner/Kardashian offspring with her almost original face, has now become the “White Flower Of Justice” according to Pepsi. The 118 years-old soft drink company, founded in Delaware, released a controversial commercial on the Good Lord’s Tuesday (yesterday).
Donning a blonde wig, couture digs and serving good face because modeling is her ACTUAL job, Jenner finds herself in the midst of “somethin’ a stirrin’ “. *cue old Negro spiritual voice*
There are scores of people from all walks of life, nationalities and ethnicities. Pepsi took great effort to highlight marginalized groups like blacks, Muslims and members of the LGBT community. Their faces were serious and full of purpose. Ironically, the whites seated at the restaurant and the duo of Rebeccas posing with peace signs were effervescing while drinking ice cold Pepsi.
Sounds like real life, right?
We know damn well that you can’t start a revolution without a Marley tune playing in the background. Because white folks, the Marleys and raging against the machine go hand in hand.
Coins and having to work are patently inconsequential to Kendall because she leaves the her work site like a muthafucking BAWSE to see what’s going on. What in the Rachel Dolezal fuck? Due to her genetic makeup care of Kris Jenner, she cannot NOT have the spotlight on anything but her. And God forbid there are far more important issues or people than a Jenner/ Kardashian.
So what does Kendall Jenner do?
Ms. Kendall strips off her blonde wig. “Why come?”, you ask.
According to the good “Book of Taylor Swift“ Chapter 12: 5–9:
“Thou shalt not Becky whilst being blonde. Oh ye wretched brunettes tainted by the blood of the Asiatic, lyrical black man. Thou shalt only becomest a delicate white flower in the garden of alabaster grace, privilege and hip hop if thou art willing to sacrifice thy soul for fodder and fuckery. Amen”
Also See the Book of Iggy.
In true Becky form , she ditches the couture clothing for some regular ass denim which probably, still, cost a stack. But had she NOT changed her attire, she would have appeared to be obtuse as fuck. Kendall Jenner is NOW one of us. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas girl!
Kendall sauntered through the crowd, giving high fives and smiles and shit. She passes the bucket-o-Pepsi, grabs a can and makes her way to the front of the crowd where the popos are standing all tight-assed and stern. She reaches to give the young cop the pop (I’m from Detroit. FIGHT ME!) and he didn’t even shoot her. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Not only did he not shoot her. He smiled along with the other cops around him. Who knew the thirst was THAT real?
I have questions. When are they going to start cloning Kendall Jenner to sell as protection for the good colored folks of the land? Will she come with a Pepsi? I prefer the throwback Pepsi with the real sugar though.
This is seemingly the happiest protest in the history of protests. The good negros are singing and dancing shucking and jiving. Becky is the creme in the middle of Oreo cookie sandwich and she’s not even crying rape. The Muslim sister is taking pictures and not even one fat, sloppy Walmart mom pulled off her hijab. Hell, ICE didn’t even sweep for ilegales.
“And I didn’t even have to use my AK… Today was a good day!”