It will always uncomfortable to leave home no matter how much we love to travel

Two days ago, unlike many other days in the last couple of months, I much more appreciate the presence of my family member. Spend time with mom, dad, my two sisters, and my only brother. Along with 2 nieces who came along with us in a picnic. It was nice to have them around, knowing that my life will be much different in 2 more days.

Then the next day, dad leave the house to Makassar (his work require him to travel often, btw). And that way, the house suddenly feel more empty upon his leaving. It just happen like that, like usually, automatically. And this is only the beginning. Soon enough we’re all scattered.

Today, right now, I’m sitting alone in a train that is leaving my home town station comfortably. Not knowing that there is a heavy soul over here that feel agitated to leave her lovely town. And she begin to imagine how hard it is, for her father to feel this uncomfortable feeling again and over again. Even the verdant landscape which she always loved to see through the blurred windows of the train now felt tasteless.

She think she know how to handle her feeling as this is definitely not the first or second time she move to a different city. She get used to spend 10 years wandering from one to another place to pursue her academic study anyway.

But then she realize that she’s just a twenty-something ordinary girl like many others. Start a new life in a stranger’s city terrify her. No matter how many city she’s been wander or lived in. And there are a lot more harsh truth she will begin to discover from now on. However, she know it’s just normal to feel that way. To feel lost, discomfort, and to feel like this isn’t her life. So she look for one or two things to do to keep her sane. Which yeah, you guessed it right. One of them is writing this piece.

And she also knows very well that staying in her comfort zone for too long is not good for her growth. And she understand her mom best, that she can’t live near her for too long to maintain a good relationship with her. And more than anything else, she indeed love to travel and constantly challenge her self in a new environment. So this is likely the best option she has.

And so through this trip, she finally realize that no matter how much she like to travel, or how many new exciting things she will experience in a different part of other world, there will always be a place like no other in this world called home. And from that realization, she thank her God that she own everything she need. She feels lucky to own the luxurious freedom to travel and the comfy house she will need to go back. (:

Tegal Bahari train, 31 Dec 2015 with Justin Bieber’s song — Life is worth living playing in the background.