How to Outrun a Crocodile.
(OR Why You Should Invite People to Walk.)
If you are doing your job right, you are spending a lot of time talking to people. Structured one-on-ones, unstructured time hearing someone else’s view on a problem, talking through how to approach an assignment, sharing feedback and concerns, listening to feedback and concerns, debating the future of social listening. These discussions are best held whilst walking and talking. Walking together creates more personal, open relationships that benefit everyone.
Let’s start with the rigor and rationale from Harvard Business Review before I share my personal experience. My favorite part: “Keep in mind that walking meetings are not breaks from work. They are meetings that would have taken place regardless of whether they were held in someone’s office or while walking around your office complex.”
And “Recent research finds that the act of walking leads to increases in creative thinking. This certainly supports the usefulness of walking meetings. Plenty of anecdotal evidence also suggests that walking meetings lead to more honest exchanges with employees and are more productive than traditional sit-down meetings.”
It’s been on my mind since last week, when one day I turned 4 one-on-ones into 4–1.5 mile walks. I found myself listening to people who had more to say on the sidewalk than they did at the table. And I walked 6 miles. I was asked interesting questions. I confessed, and got over, my anxieties about a project. I felt trust and I felt trusted.
This act of walking forward together, side-by-side, is a thread in my most valued relationships.
Brendan and I walked to our wedding together. This is us, 13 years ago, on Commonwealth Avenue in Boston:
Some of my favorite friendships started on sidewalks and trails.
And then there is my dad, Dave. My favorite thing in the world to do with Dave? Walking together. It’s as certain as Happy Joe’s pizza and a beer (or 5) when I go home. When we walk together, my dad really talks.
And last night it happened with our son, Milo. 8-year-old boys aren’t the best communicators. Milo will talk effusively about the Minecraft house he’s building, he shares his excitement about goings-on at school, and is excellent at nagging us to schedule play dates. But last night, Milo proposed we walk up to the tree swing. After getting over the shock of Milo proposing we walk up to the tree swing, we tied our shoes and got going. And he started talking. Here’s what I learned on that walk:
- He’s learning parallel, “When 2 things run next to each other and never touch. And the other one, Mom, when they are like a T.” I can’t wait to see if he remembers perpendicular this morning. (He didn’t.)
- If there is a fire while you are cooking, pour baking soda on it. This started a whole conversation about never, ever, using water on the stove to put out a fire, and how you can also choke a fire by cutting off the oxygen. “Mom, I’m going go find the baking soda, pour it all over the fire, then cover it with a lid.” Let’s hope that you never need to do that, Milo, but glad you are prepared.
- We picked every weed and wildflower and he told me about making mohawks and confetti with his friends at school. And we looked for spit bugs, which he explained, “never fall off the plant because they poop the spit and the spit keeps them on the plant.”
- He doesn’t like that new kid, Jonah, because when they were at the waterfall together Jonah said, “Move over, fatty.” We talked about how “Move over, fatty” is pretty terrible thing to say to someone.
- He doesn’t like raspberries in his lunch because “I like them served fresh, otherwise they get mushy” and he doesn’t think he’d like to camp because “it’s not luxurious.” What!? Who raised this prince?
- He knows how to make a slingshot, which he described in great detail but I can’t remember after the part about making a criss-cross with 2 sticks.
- And the highlight: If you are chased by a crocodile, you need to run zig zags away from it. “Crocodiles are really fast runners, Mom, because their little legs can go forward really fast BUT they can’t go side-to-side very well.”
We were walking for about 30 minutes.
These conversations would not have happened while I was making dinner, cleaning up from dinner, or while he was begging to watch TV (No! Not on a school night.) And they were magical. So magical, it hit me at 3am how much he actually talked while walking and I was excited to write about it at 5:30am.
Try walking. Try walking with the colleague you are feeling some tension with. Try it with a new boss you want to get to know better. Try it with a friend you feel disconnected from. And definitely take your dad for a walk, if you can. Wear comfortable shoes and be ready to listen. Sometimes the best way to move forward is to walk forward together, side-by-side. My calendar is always open for 30 minutes, or 1.5 miles, if you need it.
