From Hustle Culture to Lenient Laziness

I recently read a post on social media where parents shared their worst over correction in parenting from one generation to the next. One woman shared that her parents never let her feel sad or upset so she was sure to tell her daughters “it’s okay to feel your feelings.”

However.

Now that her daughters are angst ridden pre-teens she wishes she could amend the mantra to “go feel your feelings in your room please!”

I found this thread amusing because, as entrepreneurs, we have fallen prey to the exact same over correction, albeit in a shorter timeframe.

Throughout the 2010s, when I was beginning my career as an entrepreneur, the watchword was HUSTLE.

Work harder. Grind. Don’t stop until you hit 7-figures. Then, don’t stop until it’s 8-figures. Get up at 6am. Get up at 4am. Write a book. Don’t sleep until the book hits NYT best seller. Get another book deal.

The leaders of this culture were evident as gurus normalized working long, grueling hours with only a nominal nod toward team building and delegation. If they did support delegation it was only for the purpose of enabling one to work more on harder projects!

Entrepreneurs embraced this mindset and it’s only been recently that we’ve begun to swing the pendulum back towards balance. Self-care is the watchword these days, even before a deadly pandemic changed everything in our lives, and the growing recognition of resources like the Nap Ministry is a regular reminder to slow down, stop grinding and find joy in the process.

However.

Just like the parents in the opening example, some entrepreneurs are overcorrecting and encouraging what I can only describe as lenient laziness.

Instead of finding that happy middle ground, more and more I hear excuses designed to remove personal responsibility. For example, shortly after our latest Presidential Inauguration I found myself struggling to focus for long periods of time. I recognized that 4+ years of the last administration conditioned me to worry, constantly, about what horrible thing had been said or policy enacted. As I delved into client work my fingers itched to go to Twitter, to assure myself that our democracy was still standing.

When I mentioned this attention span struggle to a friend I fully expected the gentle admonishment to get back to work and block myself from Twitter as I focused on my business. Instead the advice was to “work for a little bit and then take a break for an hour or two.”

Ohhhh… this is the pendulum swing, I thought, from overly strict to lenient laziness. And just like most extremes, it doesn’t work.

It’s the same thinking that people of all stripes get into when attempting new habits.

• Just saved $10 by bringing lunch from home? Celebrate with new shoes!
• Did you bypass donuts in the break room? Guess who’s getting 2 desserts tonight?
• I put on my trainers and walked around the block so now I get 8 uninterrupted hours of Netflix!

This tendency to over reward the smallest of efforts is just as destructive as demanding perfection and never ceasing hustle.

Another downside to the shift is the demonization of hard work. I don’t mind people deciding that they don’t need to hustle 24/7 to find success but, for all of us not born into wealth and fame, we do need to work for it.

Which is why I’m pushing through. When my easily distracted brain feels the “need” to check social media or play a fun game on my phone, I purposefully finish my task or put in another 15 minutes minimum if the project is ongoing. I got this tip from a book on, of all things, hoarding.

In the book the authors gave this technique to those experiencing extreme hoarding that was ruining their homes and relationships. Set a timer for 15 minutes to work on your hoard and work through any discomfort. After a week, up the time to 20 minutes and keep going until you can work for an hour without stopping. Then, when you hit an hour, purposefully go for 10 minutes more so even when you’ve been given permission to stop, you work a little longer.

I loved this approach because it didn’t feel like the bully culture of hustling, just a gentle was to extend your work time in pursuit of the goal.

(For the record, I am not a hoarder but the TLC show is the most motivating thing I’ve found for cleaning and keeping my home tidy!)

These days I totally get that we are obsessed with self-care because of the multiple opportunities for capitalism to take over. If it feels like you can’t rest without creams and candles, new sheets, face masks, the perfect manicure, special music and a remodeled “bedroom oasis” then recognize that your self-care has become as competitive as hustle culture.

It’s time to find some middle ground and not swing so far in either direction that we risk soaring away from reality.