Are You Bullying Yourself? Think again!

I’d like to share with you my thoughts on BULLYING, not just the recent tragedy we have seen such as Danny Fitzpatrick taking his own life at the age of 13. But how about we adults, we in fact often unconsciously bully ourselves, because we allow others’ negative voices to play hard & long enough, till they become our own voice?

During an interview between Lady Gaga and Oprah Winfrey, Gaga mentioned a scene in her school year, how she was once bullied and pushed into a trash can; that incident embedded way deeper than she realized, as the voice of “Am I good enough? Am I worthy?” still surfaced even after her mega success.

How about Robin Williams. In his life time, he spread JOY to all of us, while he couldn’t conquer that inner bullying voice, and suffered years of overdose in drugs, then he gave up and ended his own precious life!

I was born as a kid of mistress, in a time and place in Asia when baby girls weren’t valued much. We were just perceived as a future baby-production machine, with no need for education. Growing up, there were about 15 years of my life where I never knew what would happen to me in the night, because of my mom and her drunk boyfriends. I often had to shield myself away from sexual abuse, flying knives and furniture in the air as they fought in the middle of the night. At the age of 10, I often wondered, “What did I do wrong to have this kind of living hell? If this is it, maybe because I don’t deserve to live.”

Determined to rise and thrive, I fought through the inner demons and outward discrimination of being a female executive by the age of 30. I became one of highest paid leaders in the hospitality industry. YET, the voice of “Am I good enough to be where I am now?” constantly rises its ugly head in the back of my mind until …

October 1, 2010, I was driving our family mini van with my 2 children in Las Vegas, on the daily route from school to go home. As we just drove up to the highway from the city road, all of a sudden, a car from the back — seemingly from nowhere — crashed at full speed into the rear end of our van! It forced our car to hit an SUV ahead of us. We were sandwiched! I vividly remembered the kids were screaming, liquid of the car and blood from my body were flowing out … I thought “Is this it?” Shouldn’t I start to see some clips of my life flying front of my eyes? I guess that’s what movies teach us about. However, I heard an almost audible voice: “You haven’t finished your book yet!”

Up till that day, I was in the process of writing my book “A Little Girl Called Grace.” Basically it’s my personal story to encourage girls/women out there about HOPE, but I was in so much of a struggle about whether I should even finish writing, not really thinking about publishing it. After all, “Who am I that people would read my book?”

Because of the encounter during the car accident, I knew I need to finish writing and get it published regardless. Thank God that the kids and I survived from the car accident, followed by 6 months of rehab. I finally published my book in Jan 2012. It became the Amazon Bestseller in its category. Within 60 days, I had gathered an audience of more than 13,000 on Facebook — with no advertisement! More importantly, it wasn’t the money, nor the fame, but the LIVES that were changed and impacted for the better because of the book! I knew, “I am ENOUGH!” And it was the first time in my life that I learned that I could possibly win over the inner bully!

Soon enough I was given another opportunity to battle with the ugly head once again, right before I was about to speak at the John C Maxwell’s conference. “Remember who you are? Where you are from? Don’t you also remember those days, you even didn’t have bed to sleep on as your mother moved from one place to the other? You don’t belong here, this crowd would laugh at you as soon you take the mic to speak…”

I took a moment to breathe, then I crushed it by delivering a standing-ovation talk front of 600 plus crowd, not because my own brilliance, but because I tapped into the brilliance from ALL of present audience! I switched the focus from me to THEM, I might not be enough, but I can SERVE! They are ENOUGH!

Are you bullying yourself unconsciously? It’s time to silence that inner bully by focusing on SERVING and LOVING others. They are ENOUGH for you to stand out!

I’m approaching my 50th birthday soon, so if you are reading this post and take ONE step, big or small, to crush that ugly head of inner bully, then I’d love you comment below and let me know :) Now, THAT would be the best Jubilee Birthday gift ever, don’t you think? :)


Originally published at www.huffingtonpost.com on August 19, 2016.