How to Tell People You Live In New York City

You live in New York City. Great! But sometimes it can be difficult, especially when talking to family or friends from Your Hometown, to describe urban adventures without sounding precious, affected and provincial. From someone who’s lived in the NY-metropolitan area for almost a year, here’s twenty-five tried and true ways to talk about living in New York City to the simple folk back home.

  1. I live in New York City.

2. Actually, I live in New York City.

3. I live in a little place called New York City…. heard of it?

4. Oh, just…. the city. NEW YORK City.

5. I live in York City. JUST KIDDING. I live in NEW York City. It just seems unfair that we should have to differentiate, considering how important New York City is.

6. In a way, New York City is actually the ONLY city?

7. I mean not literally, but it is.

8. Nice car. I live in the place where no one drives— I’m talking about good old New York City.

9. You might have heard of it because of Times Square. I actually never go to Times Square. People who live in New York City, as I do, never go to Times Square…

10. I live in “The Big Apple.” hahahahaha! hahaheh… oh I’m sorry I’m just laughing because… well… no one actually calls it that. It’s a joke.

11. Don’t even bother singing “start spreading the news” at me because I’m from New York City. In New York City, we don’t need to spread the news. Everyone knows things automatically — we are just that tuned in.

12. New “York City.”

13. “New York” City.

14. It’s this town where… dreams…. man…

15. New York City is my home.

16. *points to New York City on a map* I live there.

17. *points to earth on a map of the universe* I live there, in the greatest city on that thing, you know.

18. *upends grandma’s 3000-piece jigsaw puzzle into the carpet* THIS SORT OF MINOR ASSAULT ON DIGNITY HAPPENS ALL THE TIME IN THE PLACE WHERE I LIVE, WHICH IS NEW YORK CITY. GET USED TO IT, FUCKO.

19. I’ve been living in New York City.

20. I’ve been living in the greatest city……… in all of history. Check a book.

21. You like pizza? That’s cool. You’re an idiot who knows nothing. You’ve never had real pizza before because you don’t live in New York City. Also, die.

22. Oh, you sleep at night? Well actually I live in New York City, the city that NEVER sleeps. Die again!

23. They say if you live in New York City, it’s impossible to live anywhere else. I can’t live anywhere else, because I live in New York City.

24. Hahahahaha it’s funny that you even care where you live, when where I live is more interesting.

25. Although if you want to get technical, I live in Hoboken.