He actually says in his bio that Shia Labeouf is his spirit animal.
I don’t think Shia Labeouf even would want to be Shia Labeouf’s spirit animal.
Also, this is a work of fiction, Gregory, not an article. And honey, Greggie, stop giggling, that’s not sarcasm. Learn the basics to distinguish between literary and journalism terms.
PS great story, Kristin.