
…d thing. Partners need to have limits. “No,” means “no.” “No” means, “keep it up and you’re toast.” One of the paradoxes of intimacy, I believe, is that in order to maintain a passionate, healthy relationship, you have to be willing to risk it. People unable to draw the line in intimate relationships about what they are willing to tolerate can fall into a kind of emotional enslavement — and that does not breed a healthy connection between people. So, fight the good fight, stand up for yourself — with love. And if none of that works and you con…
…ning your mouth is to make things better between you. A very useful acronym for times like these is WAIT — Why Am I Talking? If you’re just talking to prove yourself right, or control your partner, or vent, or retaliate, take a walk around the block, breathe, splash some cold water on your face. Don’t try to solve your issues when you’re triggered and have descended into an immature part of yo…
… your spouse has lost his mind. These are some of the essential skills I teach couples every day. The truth is that even while we’ve never wanted more from relationships, as a society we don’t value them very much — and we certainly don’t teach our kids much about how to have good ones. Even if you have good intimacy skills, once you’re emotionally triggered, thoughtful skills usually…