Why “Me Too,” he said, Is Different From “Me Too,” she said.

There has been a lot of talk and tension and anger and frustration and shame and you name it, that emotion’s come up, over the past few days and I hope those who are feeling vulnerable, disappointed, and upset are taking the self cafe they need.

There have been many arguments and discussions and it looks like we’re coming to a consensus, but then again, I’m not quite sure so I’m going to reiterate something.

We are talking about two different topics at the same time.

1) Sexual assault and harassment (particularly by people in positions of power)

2) The oppression of women

When women say “me too” they’re talking about both of these topics. When men say “me too” they’re only talking about one of them. Just because they’re only talking about one of the issues does not, in any way, make their experience any less valid or make the need to speak about it any less vital.

However, because of the persistence and pain of issue two, (some — and rightly so) women get upset when men tell us their issue (50% of the conversation) is equal to our issue (100% of the conversation). Again, just because it is 50% of the conversation does not mean it is not 100% valid and urgent and important to talk about… All we need from you is to acknowledge the other 50% because, for us, we can’t talk about only half of the things. We are 100% of the conversation and it is your privilege as a man that allows you to ignore the other half. And that’s not cool. Cool? Cool.