The Secret of the Selfless Mother

Kelly Van Zandt

Inspired musings for the new mother in the first year postpartum


The power of motherhood is that it has the ability to reduce you,

and when you become nothing, you become Everything.

What is emptied is filled.



beloved, strong, life-creating, magnificent woman,

you have just begun to awaken.

Awaken, woman. Awaken.

Step into motherhood and recognize your Truest Nature,

your Awesome Power.

You are not only enough,

you are Everything.

The very origin of life dwells within,

and the nurture of life found

in the circle of your arms,

the beat of your heart,

the hum of your voice.

In this delicate moment in life,

you are your baby’s all.

You woman, are Magnificent.

You are life itself.


Motherhood is not a becoming but an unbecoming.

It is a return to your Heart,

your Truest Nature,

Highest Self,

Purest Essence.

Through service, it is a return to God.

It is not an addition. It is not a gain.

It is not an achievement.

It does not define you.

Motherhood is an experience,

a process,

a gradual movement toward

a perfect emptiness,

an emptiness of all that is false,

an emptiness that is neither stagnant nor cold,

an emptiness that is the palpable eternal pulse,

a current in flow of full possibility.

The transformation is meant to move you

toward a reunion with your heart,

your Truest Nature,

a rediscovery of the grandeur

that which is you and that which is beyond you.

You are beginning to experience an existence

beyond the realm of limitation.

Mother, you are being emptied of your self

and moved toward your Wholeness.


Motherhood is an experience so powerful

it could not hold a single element of irrelevance.

No necessity as pressing as the selflessness of a mother

could be anything other than Sacredly significant.

The emergence of the heart in motherhood

is a design in perfect order.

Watch closely what is required of you,

the meaningful fibers of motherhood:

Love, Service, Connection.

These elements are intentional,

and not to be overlooked.


In the morn of motherhood

any reason or normalcy is mysterious.

There is a sense that

life will never be the same.

You question constantly your identity, your purpose.

There is subdued fear

that something is gone

that was once something never dreamt to be missed.

You are moving through a gradual process

that is a recalibration of reality.

Motherhood is shedding you of an expired guise.

You are being reduced of your facade

for your greatest growth.

You are being reduced of your façade

so that you can revel in your Divinity.

This is not denial of your individuality or complexities,

but it is a purification toward Highest Self

the truth of your Being

your Authentic Self,

unique and genuine,

individual yet connected,

Inspired and Divine.


Like a snake you shed a skin

too small and full of parasites

making room for growth toward your fullest potential

by reconnecting with your purest form.

You are accessing the inner.

Entangled in this sense of shedding

is a sense of Everything.

Your baby brings you to a place of immeasurable Love,

a Love stronger than you’ve ever known.

It is a fierce Love,

a protective Love,

a gentle Love,

a tender Love,

a Love in imperfection,

a Love beyond lyrics.

A Love that creates, heals, and nurtures all things.

What has been emptied is being filled.

Let this sit heavily.

All is in perfect order.


Through overwhelming love, unspeakable connection,

and service of a dearest baby

you are moved out of your own way.

The selflessness is the design

in flawless order

requiring of you less self.

Motherhood calls for the desires of the self

to be put on trial

as the needs of another automatically, without question,

come before yours in this moment.


Less self.

This is the return,

the direction to Source.


Loosen your grip on the external

for in this experience you are purifying your inner world.

You are returning. Re. Turning.

Turning Around.

Turning around toward

the Source of creation

away from the circumference and toward the inner,

the center.

Through the mining of your internal nature

you come to your grandest strength.

Honor this time,

this wonderful, love-filled,

this difficult, defeating process.

All is in perfect order.

This is for You.


Motherhood holds in its wake

an emergence of your hidden Divinity within.

To move into alignment with this pull is growth.

To miss this shift is conflict.

To return is to Awaken.

To remain is to suffer.


Allow this new orientation

its space and grandeur

without towing along a self too small, too limited for this realm.

Release in faith.

A new calibration awaits

that is not of the small self but is of all there is.


It is selfless.

It is service.

It is a return.

It is growth.

It is a blessing.

It is Sacred.

Honor the process.

All of it.

To resist this shift is to miss your greatest growth.

Kelly Van Zandt

Written by

Mother. Wife. Doula. Inspiring new moms to find growth and meaning in their everyday lives.

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