Born again Pagan
My journey and steps to any facet of serenity
My journey did not begin with a search for religion or God, it began with a search for serenity; The peace between world and self that we all strive for.
Free-will would suggest the right to say, do, and believe whatever it is that leads us to peace with ourselves and the world. A major issue in society today is that we seem to have forgotten that this idea still applies to faith.
I was guilty of forcing faith, the party I was guilty of forcing it upon was myself. My road to spiritual fitness was not an easy or short adventure. The path to spiritual awakening is never-ending, with small miracles being catalysts for further growth. The steps I took can be taken by anyone, and the results can lead anywhere. Like many journeys to peace, mine began with opposition.
Understanding I couldn’t conform with what I was taught
I’m not going to divulge what religion I was raised in the interest of keeping my testament pure. As I grew older, religion did not settle well with me. Some pieces of the message and practices made sense, while others did not. I slowly searched for more.
As a teen, I found I connected with some common themes from all religions. To be put simply, those themes were: be a good person and treat others well.The third theme, the concept I was stuck on, was the belief in a power greater than myself.
I could not make complete sense of everything being taught to me, and as a result, I began to lose a relationship with the concept of a higher being. My life took some dark turns after my teen years, and it was only after copious amounts of pain that the next step became clear:
I needed to believe in something
Before my surrender to this knowledge, I became oppositional to all ideas of God or Dogma. After many life traumas, I could feel the instinctual longing for divine guidance but lacked the direction.
I was stuck between refusing dogma and wanting divine intervention.
A decision had to be made —
I grasped at something that makes sense
I was in a therapy session the day I met my first higher power. I was describing to my therapist my struggle with attaching to one. I explained to her that all I could recognize so far was one coincidence: when I did good things, good outcomes resulted, and when I acted poorly, negative consequences ensued. This law was my evidence of a higher being because only a higher being, in my perspective, could ensure such a structure. She kindly pointed out that this was the concept of Karma, and thus I was given my first direction of faith.
I had hope for the first time
I did not end up committing myself to any religion that focused on the concept of Karma. Still, I did, however, learn a plethora of useful ideas and tools from researching them.
The most important virtue I obtained during this phase was open-mindedness to learn and grow along spiritual lines. I never stopped striving for faith and serenity. This dedication often included —
Knowing my boundaries
Along the path of discovery, there were certain practices I would not partake in. In the beginning, I refused to pray or use the word God. Identifying these personal limits were essential for guiding me to practices I would partake in. I used alternative nouns, such as Higher Power, and sought alternate means for communication with my source of faith. The key to progression after identifying limits is —
I stayed open-minded
I took up meditation as an alternative to prayer. Eventually, I was given a book of prayers that did not come from a religion but were scripted for a self-help program. I accepted those prayers as an alternative to the ones I was raised with. Eventually, I sat with the same friend and allowed her to explain to me the message behind one of the prayers from my childhood religion. I learned then that the meaning of the prayer presented a general understanding of forgiveness, divine intervention, and the human condition.
After that encounter, I truly understood, many of the teachings I was researching were universal and could be applied to humans regardless of their faith. I began to appreciate all facets of faith for the purity of their message, including the one I had shunned.
I never stopped the development
For a few years, I defined myself by the famous term: I’m spiritual, not religious. After meeting with my friend, that definition did not sit well with me. I wanted to be part of something more substantial. I wanted to experience being united with others on a singular purpose.
I began to attach to anything that gave me a sense of purity and guidance. I wanted whatever would bring me closer to the Divine and other people. I welcomed lessons and practices from my first religion and many others.
I came to appreciate all faiths for their intent.
I also broke through many of my boundaries during the process. Today, I pray, I will use the word, God. I wrongly assumed this would mean that I was going to convert back to the religion I was raised in. Something, however, still did not seem to fit —
I researched
I continued to investigate until the day I found my true path. The most important aspect of the process was that I waited until something felt right, and I trusted my instinct. It was my decision, and I believe that it is imperative to having true faith. I learned the concepts and ideas from which my chosen religion is based in. I learned the values and virtues that were considered sacred. I educated myself on the practices and traditions.
I decided I was not only completely comfortable, but I finally felt at home with powers greater than myself.
My honest faith, trust, and hope were catalysts to the potential for serenity.
Practice
As I learned and practiced more, I became more comfortable with myself and the world around me.
My foundation in faith became an armor.
Contact with God became a more comfortable routine. Prayer, surrender, and action became instinctual. Eventually, I began to experience more peace. I was ready for the world.
Purpose
Where I landed in my journey is of little importance to anyone but myself. My decision to identify as Pagan does not have to be anyone else’s. So often, it is assumed that others will only benefit if they believe as we do.
The message of my journey is that spiritual connection is a long term commitment and development.
Spirituality must be valid for the individual to be effective. Any order that inspires a human being to act along spiritual principles is of divine intervention. Any teaching that brings faith, trust, hope, and serenity to the individual is essential. All avenues of faith that inspire positive action and love are effective.
So what is the most profound and satisfying action I have witnessed humans practice across religions and amongst the spiritual, agnostic, and atheist?
Giving back
Giving myself the freedom to explore allowed me to remain openminded to what I can learn and implement from those of secular faith and my fellows who chose not to define themselves with a religious practice. The Powers at Be brought people and information into my life as I sought it. The best gift that can be given after such blessings — return the favor.
The acts of giving back and service can be applied outside of religion.
The purest human action is passing positive knowledge and service onto the next person. It perpetuates the positive cycle of living together in the human condition.
Everything ends and begins with passing along service and positivity.
There are spiritual lessons everywhere that can be applied to all avenues of life. The personal decision and relationship an individual chooses to form has little barring on their potential to create a positive force in this world.
As long as we strive for that which renews our hope and blossoms our purpose, we are correct. We all hold the potential to make an impact in this world through the cycle of learning and practicing spiritual principles — then we serve others.
