Why I chopped off all my hair…
Hi, I’m Kelsey and I am terrified of people.
Not in the sense that I cannot talk to them. I could talk to Beyonce like she’s my oldest friend (She’s not).
More in the sense that connecting with my actual oldest friend has always eluded me because the thought of being seen, actually seen by another person makes my stomach crawl.
Could be from the seemingly endless childhood trauma I endured before age 10 or the relentless bullying by my peers. Now that I consider it, both are probably responsible.
Anyway I never knew I had this fear until I started Nimbly.
Nimbly is my youtube channel and my business and my life saver.
Nimbly is where I put my spin on Neuroscience and Psychology research to address some of the most problematic questions in life.
It all started out okay until I had to start being more “comfortable” with the camera and form more “connections” to my audience and then to my clients.
I realized very soon that I had a huge fear of connecting to other humans, which makes helping them very very difficult.
So I chose to start facing it in all of my decisions, big and small.
Now to the part we all came here for… my hair.
I was always scared of standing out, being different always felt like I was begging to be rejected by a world that, it felt like, was always on the verge of kicking me off the cool kids’ table at any moment.
One day I caught myself saying how I would NEVER EVER have short hair. Like pixie cut short. EVER.
One week and 14 inches off later, here we are, pixie cut it is.
I was so scared to do this.
Being in front of thousands of people every day, I cannot hide a bad haircut, nor can I escape the social rejection that online trolls seem so brilliant at delivering in the meanest of ways.
And, in a world of extensions and fake boobs, my short haircut paired with my moderate breast size makes me feel invisible. Which, for my type of fear is not a good thing.
Some people are scared of others and want nothing more than to be invisible. I am not that type of person. I am starving to be seen.
That being said, here we are, here I am. Still feel slightly invisible. Definitely. Still feel terrified that I made the wrong choice. Absolutely not.
Facing my fear in this small way has been just as important to me as facing my fear in bigger ways.
Because one thing I have learned about fear is that it is GREEDY.
Allow it to control one teensy space of your life, like your hair, and it will soon be seeking to control your relationships, your creativity, your life.
I won this battle and carved out a space for myself where fear is a mere suggestion instead of a supreme order.
Oh, and I got a kick-ass, fairy princess haircut in the process.
12 points GRYFFINDOR!!!!
Thanks for reading!
If you like short, saucy videos that make you laugh while blowing your mind then stop by my channel! (youtube.com/kelseynimbly)