The Rise of Dementia in a (Post?) Pandemic World: Meme’s Story Part 1
Covid-19 hit everyone extremely hard. I know that seems to be some sort of cliché. But. some lost their jobs, some lost their businesses, some lost their senior year, some lost their minds, and others lost their loved ones and are still losing them to this dreadful virus.
Even before the virus had taken hold over the states, my family and I were taken for a ride. My mother had a stroke due to diabetes that left her almost paralyzed for about a month, with walking impairments beginning to wane about nine months later. Being a recent college graduate (for the second time), I became a full time caretaker and parent. I know that the events put a strain on all of us physically, and my mother mentally. Even so, it seemed to be a blessing in disguise. Caring for her meant that she stayed home away from crowds as did my father who suffered from COPD. Both were in the 65 and older range and with pre-existing conditions. And with a vaccine non-existent at the time, we didn’t want to take any chances.
So, my sisters and I (yes, we still live at home in this economy) began to take care of our parents in a way that we really hadn’t done before. And there was something else that we didn’t see. It was buried and hidden in plain sight, right in front of our noses. But, with all the headlines surrounding the pandemic and our attention diverted to my mother, we just didn’t pay much attention.
Some context to strangers in cyberspace. My family and I have lived in the same home since my sisters and I were six years old (Yes, we’re triplet girls). The home my mother and father purchased was only a house down from my paternal grandmother, affectionately named, Meme. My grandmother was born in 1931, but even years before the pandemic, she was beginning to show her age. She did things that we considered to be normal for an elderly woman; it wasn’t until much later that we discovered what was happening.
It was buried and hidden in plain sight, right in front of our noses.
These things included: throwing garbage in the sink, leaving plates of food out on the table, forgetting to clean out her fridge, forgetting what time of day it was, or forgetting what medicines to take. When we spent the night with her, no one wanted to climb in bed with her, as she frequently moved about and talked in her sleep. She even got to where she didn’t have the energy to clean or cook. We all chalked these things up to just growing older. And due to having a bad knee and asthma, we just assumed it hurt her to walk very far or do housework. My sisters and I frequently cleaned her home and my father brought her breakfast in the morning and dinner at night.
But, about eight months into the pandemic, we began to notice a change in my grandmother’s mental state. She began to hallucinate and see things that were not there. One day I spent the afternoon with her, she was watching television. As an air plane flew over on some television show, she ducked. Then, she looked at me and laughed. I looked at her kind of strangely, but shrugged it off. There was no way she could have thought that plane was actually over or inside her house. Maybe she was joking?
She did things that we considered to be normal for an elderly woman; it wasn’t until much later that we discovered what was happening.
About a few months later, these hallucinations began to become more frequent. She frequently would tell my father and me over morning coffee that she had seen a boy in her room, or her deceased son or deceased pet. My family and I discussed what was causing these hallucinations, but we didn't want to believe it. “Maybe you were still dreaming.” my dad would say calmly.
Then, one day she called my father asking where my sister was. I assured her that she was at home with us.
Her response: “Well, she’s asleep on my couch right now and she’s twelve years old. But, I know that can’t be right.” (My sisters and I were 25)
This confirmed my fears: my grandmother was getting Dementia caused by Alzheimer’s. I had lived through this a little with my maternal grandmother. Now, the only grandparent I had left was going through the same ordeal.
Luckily, [she] seemed to understand that what she was seeing couldn’t possibly be real. But, I knew that wouldn’t last.
Alzheimer’s is a brain disorder of an abnormal buildup of proteins around brain cells causing dementia, or cognitive impairments in mood, language, and memory. These impairments interfere with daily living, with the later stages including difficulty swallowing, talking, walking and fighting off infections. There is no cure.
Luckily, my Meme seemed to understand that what she was seeing couldn’t possibly be real. But, I knew that wouldn’t last.
Sure enough, two months later the cops knocked on our door around 2:00 AM. The cops asked if my grandmother lived a block down. Apparently, she called the police and told them that someone was breaking in on her. When they showed up to arrest the perpetrators, my grandmother pointed to an empty space asking the officers to arrest….nobody. This was the beginning of a long journey that still continues…
And I’m still recounting these moments asking myself, how and why this could have happened. Until I started doing research, I learned that 1 in 6 people that are at least eighty years old will have Alzheimer’s.
I don’t want to blame Covid-19, but I do wonder how this isolation has affected seniors.
1 in 6 people that are at least eighty years old will have Alzheimer’s.
Studies have measured the effects of isolation and risk for Alzheimer's and dementia in seniors. One study found that “the risk of developing dementia because of the impact of prolonged loneliness and social isolation is about 49 to 60% higher than in those who are not lonely and socially isolated.”
Granted, my father visited my grandmother every day during the pandemic and even before. Every morning for three hours and every night for three hours. My sisters and I visited just about every other day. Sunday nights were our time to watch The Rookie (she is a big Nathan Fillion fan).
Yet, my grandmother never went to the store and had limited trips to the doctor. Her brother and sister-in-law were happy to take her out to eat when they took her to some doctor visits. Another time she looked forward to was getting her hair done on Friday mornings, which my cousin was happy to oblige as her hairdresser. But, Thanksgivings, Fourth of Julys, and Christmas celebrations were non-existent for about two years. My grandmother always looked forward to these family get togethers as a social creature. And my sisters and I were happy to help clean and cook for her to prepare.
I’m not saying that Covid-19 lockdowns caused my grandmother’s Alzheimer’s, but rather possibly accelerated its progression. Like I said, we didn’t know her forgetfulness was caused by Alzheimer’s. But, it was only a couple of months into the pandemic when the hallucinations started.
“My loved one is suspicious that I’m being cruel by not taking her shopping; it makes her increasingly argumentative,” [one] caregiver wrote.
And she would frequently become argumentative with my father when he explained why she couldn’t go out to eat or to the store. Other caregivers have similar stories. Yet, we tried to see her point of view. Living in a period of isolation from other family members and not being able to go anywhere was hard on everyone.
Surveys have also reported higher stress levels on caregivers as well. One survey stated “81 percent of caregivers reported higher stress because of the COVID-19 pandemic and shutdowns.” I have seen this added stress upon my father (who’s not a spring chicken) taking care of my grandmother. I experienced the same stress/anxiety of taking care of my own mother.
We have already seen the rise of suicides, depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses. I do wonder what the future studies will look like on the rise of Alzheimer’s in the elderly due to these isolation measures.
I don’t want to remember my grandmother as this person. I want people to know her as the kind, strong-willed, good cooking woman that has looked the devil in the eye and didn’t blink. Yet, I’m writing this so others will know they are not alone. That my heart goes out to those who have family members and caregivers battling this right now. And that it is this horrible disease that is slowly taking my grandmother away from me, off to a place where I cannot follow. But, I will continue writing about these experiences so others know that they are not alone. And we mustn’t stop until a cure is found for this horrible hell of a disease.
Part II is found at this link.
Citations:
Lowe, Roger. “Covid-19 Pandemic’s Disproportionate and Dangerous Effects on the Alzheimer’s Community.” UsAgainstAlzheimer’s, 29 May 2020, https://www.usagainstalzheimers.org/blog/covid-19-pandemics-disproportionate-and-dangerous-effects.
M;, Lazzari C; Rabottini. “Covid-19, Loneliness, Social Isolation and Risk of Dementia in Older People: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis of the Relevant Literature.” International Journal of Psychiatry in Clinical Practice, U.S. National Library of Medicine, 7 Aug. 2021, https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34369248/.
“What Is Alzheimer’s Disease?” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 26 Oct. 2020, https://www.cdc.gov/aging/aginginfo/alzheimers.htm.