You have captivated me.
How do I know?
I never knew what a heavy heart felt like. I accepted all your flaws that I once despised. I saw through you. I read your every movement, the smile that never really quite reached your eyes; your eyes, the way they looked at me longing for something more, filled with questions, desire, lust…love?
The fact that I had to question why I love you…no, that did not need an answer. Just the fact that I do is enough. That I’d do anything for you in a heartbeat. Always worrying about you.
You always look so tired. Worried. And I wish you didn't. I want you to tell me your worries, your dreams, your future. I want to hold you and tell you that everything will be okay. Be your safe haven.
But you have your life and I have mine.
I miss our conversations the most. They were the ones I can lay under the stars and talk for hours with you. I miss how carefree your laugh was around me. I knew you had fallen in love with me and I with you. But I never had the chance to tell you. I’m sure you knew though.
You have changed me in ways I do not yet understand. I go day by day trying to find who I am. I don’t think each day gets better. It just seems that way maybe because it’s pushed down so deep I don’t feel anymore. I've just numbed the pain.
I fell in love with someone I never really had and I can never have. Will someone ever fill this empty void inside my aching heart?