Breaking News: The Latest Gossip About the Rumor Mill

The Rumor Mill was full of it.
Specifically, it was full of sophisticated people working hard in the industry of gossip. Yet, the story was passed down from the barber’s first cousin, who had got it directly from his mother in law, that the racket inside the mill was deafening.
Word had it that a few moments spent inside the mill would mean a week of headaches and ringing ears. It was indeed a wonder that workplace health and safety hadn’t shut the plant down…perhaps this was due to the fact no real work was actually done on site and so the mill couldn’t technically be called a workplace.
One doesn’t like to repeat stories, but just between you, me, and the kitchen table, the situation was far worse than anyone realized at first. Rumors going around said that the Rumor Mill would actually dump its toxic waste into the river beside it, sending its poison downstream to infect the unsuspecting people of the town.
As a neighbor, Dave the Naturalist knew all this to be true but he was a simple man. He liked fishing, hunting, and sleeping in his little shack back in the woods. He didn’t have much of anything but he was happy and content with what he had. He had no desire to interfere in the business of industry.
Yet, the recruiter from the mill had been persistent. “Leave this little shack and be somebody,” the recruiter had urged. “I’m already somebody,” Dave explained, “I’m Dave.”
The recruiter opened a briefcase full of money. “But just think, you’ll really be somebody.”
Dave studied the money and shrugged. “If I give up my convictions, who I really am, won’t I be somebody else?”
The recruiter chuckled. “Who cares, you’ll be somebody…somebody who is really, really rich.”
Dave took a moment to admire the sight of all that money just laying there in the briefcase. “What will I do if I’m rich?”
“Well, if you’re rich, you’ll be able to go hunting and fishing whenever you want to,” the recruiter explained.
“But I already do that,” Dave pointed out.
“Maybe so, but you’ll have power and position, people will talk about you, you’ll be sophisticated,” The recruiter carried on preaching the sermon that had converted so many others.
Dave thought all this sounded pretty simple minded but still, he was intrigued. The Rumor Mill had been proven successful and he really wanted to be in on that action. So, long story short, Dave finally agreed to the recruiter’s proposal and went to work as the new manager of the Rumor Mill.
Like any powerless person on a power play, Dave made his first move boldly. Attacking the people who actually did the gossip, simply because they did their work well, they were a clear threat to his authority.
Yes indeed, the smallest stars boast the loudest and Dave was louder than anyone else around. It didn’t take him much time at all to solidify his position as General Manager of the World Famous Rumor Mill. Mainly because all the serious gossipers had quit and the people that were left didn’t care enough to challenge his authority or to do much else for that matter. Still, even though all the serious workers had quit, Dave got quite a charge out of simply being in charge even there was really no one to be in charge of...
However, without any gossip being generated at the Rumor Mill, toxic waste stopped drifting downstream and the town downstream began to get healthy.
The situation quickly progressed from simply being deplorable to being utterly unacceptable.
In the town and in the factory, board meetings began being held to plan more meetings…to plan more meetings, and eventually, two years later, the planning meetings finally ended and an action committee was formed.
Dave had to go!
New, serious, workers had to be hired!
It was a sad day indeed as Dave returned to his little shack in the woods. He had grown to enjoy the constant stress and chaos of his mighty position…for him, a life of contentment and happiness would sure be hard to return to…
Yet, as the people of the land saw the coal black smoke bellowing through the smokestacks to stain the summer sky…they all rejoiced greatly as they realized that the Rumor Mill had finally returned to its glorious work…well, that’s what I heard anyway…
