CBT has the same problem as affirmations. It’s like my therapist is saying, “There’s this great technique you can use to brainwash yourself.” I know it works (my wife used it successfully when dealing with anxiety), but there’s an underlying assumption that the behavior you want to stop is bad and the new behavior is good. I can’t quite get to that mental place where I know that believing in my own womanhood is a good thing.
Rational thinking has gotten me to the point of accepting that I am transgender, since like you say, cis people don’t do what I’m doing. It’s just that next hurdle, the female identity (as opposed to a trans identity), that I struggle with. Somehow I’m able to accept the womanhood of other transfeminine people, but not my own.
It’s a journey. I’m hoping that with time and patience, I can arrive at the same place you’re at now.