Notes to Self… Everyone has a Mumu Button

My friend LucyandLuca showed me a story they were working on and my Judgemental Christian Sister Persona came on really quickly…

I like to talk you see 😜 and so I started on aspects of the story that were in dissonance from my core Christian values and when they told me that ‘I hate You! You think you know everything’ I knew I needed to remove the log from my own eye 😂😂😂

You see it’s easy for me to point out sexual indiscretions etc because The Bible clearly has a template on this…

But what about my gluttony and inability to say no to anything called cake 🎂 I am not joking if you call it cake I will eat it…

It’s so bad that I get almost daily calls from my mother reminding me that ‘Cake is the Devil’ and her recruitment of my 6 year old son to tell me about the merits of rainbow vegetables and eating healthy 😂😂😂

You see I saw my Orthopaedic Consultant last month and again yesterday and to cut a long story short because I am not yet 50 it’s in my best interest not to have Knee Replacement Surgery 😳

So back to Sexual Indiscretions it’s easy to say ‘Never’ ‘It can never happen to me’ ‘God Forbid’…

The Bible says let everyone that thinks he stands take heed less he falls…

I was speaking to a family friend recently and after one of my usual pious Christian Sister Statements he said that so was I saying in over 16 years of marriage I had never been attracted to another man 😜

So I thought for once before I spoke 🤔 and told him my truth…

One of the secrets to fidelity in marriage apart from the God factor is to only be attracted to inaccessible members of the opposite sex 😂😂😂 you will probably never meet them ever and all is well that ends well…

Yes O fellow Pious Christian Sisters it is a sin to find another man attractive 😜

But as I stand in judgement having even recently counselled a married friend who admitted after telling me how God is the secret to his phenomenal business success that he had ‘been with’ a girlfriend the night before… I talked and prayed and said that whenever he sees any of these side chics that ‘He will Fail to Perform in Jesus’ Name’

‘Everyone has a ‘Mumu Button’

I told my Oga some time ago that he should keep me away from Idris Elba because Idris Elba has my Mumu Button…

Please don’t crucify me 😂

But Kemi what if you ever get to meet Idris Elba…

Ahhh that is where Cake comes in…

I don’t deceive myself 😜 Idris Elba is not going to come after fat me 😂😂😂

So all is well and ends well…

Thank God for Cake ❤️❤️❤️

Notes: Mumu appears in both Yoruba and Caribbean Languages and means Idiot, Fool or Simpleton.