Face your fears while traveling

When I was four years old, I almost drowned in East Hampton, New York. I jumped into the ocean with my cousin Kristin and the current pulled me away from the sandbar. The seconds turned into hours as I struggled to get back to shore. Next thing I knew, I was in the arms of a lifeguard being carried back to my mom in dad.
Fast forward about 10 years, I’m white water rafting in Zimbabwe. On a rapid, our raft flipped and somehow I got caught underneath the raft unable to breathe. Once again, I thought I was going to drown.
A year after that, I’m swimming in Greece and I feel as if someone took the right side of my body and is holding it on a stove. I can’t move. My mom jumps in the water and has to pull me out. The burning is coursing through my body, but there were no marks to show what had happened. Suddenly lacerations appear across the entire right side of my body. I get taken to a doctor who tells me I’ve been stung by a Portuguese Man O’ War. I mean seriously, what are the chances of being stung by a Portuguese man O’ war?

I think it’s safe to say, I’m painfully uncomfortable in water. I love the idea of being in water, but after the three situations I described above, anything that involves swimming, holding my breath, and sea creatures freaks me out.
I understand that my fear of drowning is a learned behavior. I have coaxed myself into thinking that every time I’m in water I’m in danger. There is no rational reason I should step into the ocean and feel uncomfortable. Because of that, I want to reshape my mindset so that I can unlearn this anxiety and enjoy swimming.
When I moved to San Cristobal in the Galapagos Islands in January 2015, I knew that underwater wildlife is the best in the world. I didn’t want to miss it and I also didn’t want to drown. I knew that the only way that I could expand my horizons and grow was to face my fear. I set one intention for my time in the Galapagos, get over my fear of drowning. By pulling attention to my fear, and making steps to face it, I changed my life.

Setting foot on the Galapagos Islands, there’s nothing else like it. It’s quiet, simple, and the nature is the most beautiful in the world. Everything is green and smells of the pacific ocean.

One of first days there, I walked straight into a scuba shop and booked a PADI certification. The next day, I was putting on my tank and getting ready to jump into the pacific ocean right off the coast of San Cristobal. I was shaking. I was so anxious and afraid that something would happen. With my luck, I’d get eaten by a shark.
As I stepped into the water and instructor showed us how to lower, I wanted to turn back. “This was such a dumb idea,” I thought. But it was in that second I had to remind myself of my long term goal to get over my fear.

As I lowered into the water, my ears were screaming with pressure. I felt as though my head was going to explode. I took my first breath and thought, “This is nuts. Why do people do this?”
It’s safe to say, I hated scuba diving. When I finally got out of the water, I thought, “Thank God that’s over. I never want to do that again.” I had to remind myself that I set an intention. I had a goal to get over my fear of drowning. I want to enjoy the water. And, I definitely was not over my fear of drowning, so despite being miserable,I came back again. I hated it, again. And then I came back a third time.
The third time I went scuba diving, I realized that not once had I ever stepped out of my own head while diving. I was never present. Every single time I was in the water I just kept thinking about me. “I’m uncomfortable.” “I don’t like this.” “Why did I do this to myself?” Over and over, me, me, me. Not once did I look around and appreciate this new world that I was engrossed in. So, I closed my eyes, focused on my breathing, and told myself that when I opened my eyes I would be present and accept the moment for what it truly was.
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Absolute serenity.
There’s no way to use words to truly describe the shift in my mindset. I was no longer afraid. I wasn’t anxious nor was I regretting my decision to scuba dive. I was alive.
This was one of the most beautiful moments of my life because from that second on, I was no longer afraid of water. It made me feel invincible, like I could do anything I set my mind to. The one thing I had always been afraid of was now something beautiful.

I became obsessed with scuba diving. Over and over, I kept trying to find any excuse to go. On my 20th birthday, I grabbed some friends and I said, “I want to go to Kicker Rock. Let’s find sharks.” So we packed on our tanks and set out to find hammerheads. I wasn’t sure why I wanted to see them and was quite certain it would scare me. But the second I laid my eyes on a family of hammerhead sharks, I became overcome with peace and tried to get as close as I can. There was nothing terrifying about them. They were the biggest, most beautiful, peaceful creatures that I had ever seen in my entire life. The way that they moved through the water was so graceful and confident.
After swimming with sharks, I realized that I had stared my fear in the face and fallen in love with it.
By shifting my perspective from a self focused, fear induced mindset to one of intentionality, presence, and admiration, I changed my perspective on life.

I no longer get anxious in water. But not only that, I’m more confident in myself. I learned about who I was, how to push myself, and discovered a new passion I would have otherwise entirely avoided in my life.
My experiences with travel are deeply emotional because of the emphasis I put on self growth. Being intentional, mindful, and having perseverance to change my habits and perspective while traveling, deeply and positively impact my life. Traveling isn’t just a trip, it’s a defining moment to discover your true self beyond the limitations you set on yourself.
The point of this story isn’t to say we should escape life and go dive into what we’re most afraid of. The point is that we miss so much when we look at life from only one lens. Whether we’re on a trip or on the subway to your morning commute to work, being present, having intentions and being mindful, changes the way we live. It helps us to embrace difference, push ourselves to do new things, and fall in love with our fears. I try to live by this every day. This is exactly why I created my app, enJoinIt. I want people to experience the connection of embracing others uniqueness, have the possibility to try new things, and have the opportunity to fall in love with their fears.
Traveling doesn’t spark change in us. Traveling is a tool. When we travel with intention, it provides an opportunity to be able to discover who we are in a place we don’t exist. But, Intentionality, mindfulness, and presence can be done from anywhere. Your couch, the subway, the office, Nepal, and underwater with sharks. There’s so much to learn around us at every moment. All it takes is a single second to remind ourselves to be present, with intention to grow. When we’re mindful, we can take a second to reframe our mindset and fall in love with the life in front of us, even our biggest fears.

