Why I stopped watching people’s Snapchat Stories.

You know that girl in high school that was super nice to everyone, kinda funny in class, was friends with the teachers, but you never saw her at many school functions or like talked to her much?

Yep, that was me.

I have always been the girl that everyone knows, most people like, but many don’t ever think to invite to do things or think to hang out with. I used to get really upset by this and sometimes still do, but the times when I feel the worst about it is when I am really depressed.

I have struggled with Major Depression for almost 13 years and it has shaped the friendships that I have been able to have. I don’t have the ability to have shallow friendships, instead I am the type of friend that will know a good chunk of your life story by the end of a 20 minute conversation at a random lunch table (people that know me just read that and nodded their heads while giggling a bit to themselves). That is just me, that has always been me, and you know what? I kind of like that part of me. It is unique and opens a lot of doors for me to make beautiful connections with a lot of different people.

However, it is one of my biggest insecurities, because I can’t just let go and have fun all of the time. I worry about the unknown, I think about every repercussion my actions could have, or I just end up making sure nothing happens to my friends while they are having a good time. Which in my eyes, doesn’t make me very fun.

It began getting hard for me to get on social media, because I would see all of these wonderful and exciting things people I know would be doing and I started getting the Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) heart aches. The biggest culprit being Snapchat Stories.

SOOOOOOO I just quit watching them, I quit getting on Instagram as much, and tried to stop using Facebook for anything other than keeping in touch with old friends and sharing things that I found funny or cute. And you know what? It has helped. I feel a little better each day about my place in this world. It revived my journey to heal myself and has allowed me the opportunity to take a step back and figure out that social media isn’t good for me.

Now everyday I remind myself the things I know:

I know my friends love me, I know people like me, but I also know I am not the normal friend that you go and get drunk with every Friday and Saturday night.

AND THAT IS OKAY.

I am the friend that you call at three in the morning because you just had a panic attack and don’t want to be alone or the friend that you call up out of the blue when you want to go walk around Target aimlessly and talk about life or why it’s only fair for brother-husbands to be a thing if sister-wives is.

Moral of the story, take a break from social media, it can change your life.

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