I read the Bible every day for 100 days | 7 Life-Changing things that Happened
Nice to meet you. I’m K. Ann. I am so happy to be sharing this experience with you. Just under 100 days ago, I embarked on a journey to read my Bible every single day starting at the very beginning. I found myself in a very strange place recently, not at my lowest, but certainly not at my highest. I was regularly attending church and really making genuine attempts to convert my previously sin-filled life into one that was … less sin-filled. I was also going to one-on-one outpatient family and relationship therapy and incorporating a barrage of other “spiritually” grounding activities, which I will discuss more in depth in another article. I had begun to feel like I was truly exhausting every possible avenue available to get my life “on track” and find a semblance of peace and happiness. Unfortunately, any peaceful or joyful experience I was fortunate to encounter were typically found through forced socializing: i.e. going to instagram worthy brunches and dinners with friends that weren’t even my friends.
Overtime these short-lived outings left me even more empty than I was prior to getting dressed and stepping outside. I hit a breaking point on my birthday this year. I had gotten all dressed up, planning to have the birthday filled with food, mimosas, and friends. My birthday is my most beloved time of year and, each year it revives me back to the “real” me. (or so I thought, all which will be discussed in another article) Long story short, I felt the lowest I had ever felt throughout the year on that day. Party, balloon, cake, friends, mimosas, and nothing, I mean NOTHING was giving me the joy, the excitement, lifeforce I was yearning and searching for. Devastated and peaking with depression and waves of anxiety over the next several weeks, everything hit me when I watched an online sermon from my Mom’s local church in North Carolina.
The sermon was short and talked about a variety of powerful connections between the Bible and it’s application in our real life, per usual. Something stuck out to me, in that sermon however, that truly changed the trajectory of my entire life. With bright eyes and an excitement in his voice the pastor simply uttered, “This will be your best year ever, if it is your best year spiritually.” Thinking about how I had just finished a week-long yoga challenge, had been attending regular Sunday services, and even joined a small group, I thought “well isn’t this already my best year spiritually.” I had never given this much effort to my faith walk, I thought. Although, in hindsight, it was barely a tenth of what is truly needed. The pastor continued, “get in the Word.” Which is Southern speak for Read your Bible! He repeated it over and over, “get in the Word, get in the Word, and you’ll see your whole life start to change.” The lightbulb went off for me, and after that I knew I had to do it. I knew I had to “get in the Word,” like never before. After all, I love reading and I’ve never made it past Moses and the burning bush. Having absolutely no idea where to truly start on this journey and only knowing that I had a Bible, a Bible study that was collecting dust, and lots of empty pages of my favorite journal, I set out to do one thing and one thing only …“Get in the Word!”
- Discipline
This is like one of those what came first the chicken or the egg situations. Undoubtedly, reading several chapters of the Bible a day every single day requires a lot of discipline. I hope to share more later about the precise journey of developing discipline and truly coming to the point where I couldn’t wait to wake up and read my Bible. (I promise you, me even saying these words is like night and day compared to who K. Ann. used to be). Importantly, though finding whatever determination I could in order to build a routine around Bible reading actually resulted in me building discipline in other areas of my life which I actually really really needed. I work a job that is very challenging and demanding, and waking up just before going to work, wallowing over to the shower and barely managing to put on clothes and fix my make-up and hair was actually all a cyclical part of the anxiety and depression I was dealing with. Reading the Bible for a minimum of 1 hour a day in the morning meant I had to wake up early, and by doing this I ended up building a really lovely morning routine that accounted for needing to walk my dogs in the morning, make a healthy breakfast, workout, and get ready for work. None of this happened over night of course, and reading the Bible doesn’t just make you disciplined, but truly taking “getting in the Word” serious absolutely did force me to reconfigure my lifestyle choices and habits, and out of it I gained a more disciplined and healthy lifestyle.
2. I lost friends
This was not a shock to me because I tend to keep people at an arm’s length anyway until I truly have developed a true sense of who they are and my love for them grows into one that is practically familial. So with the exception of my closest, “like-family” friends, I pretty much lost or became severely distant from all social and professional friends. It felt like God had begun to isolate me. I certainly observed that it was happening, but it didn’t really hit me like it had in the past. In the past, when God would isolate me, I would feel lonely and even depressed. This time, I didn’t even notice it until I was about 45 days into my readings, and I was completely overwhelmed by how much fun it was to sit in God’s presence. Clearly, the isolation was necessary because it forced me into God’s presence, and not having brunch plans meant I could spend extra time in reading his Word and learning His voice and experiencing His love.
3. I lost things
Notwithstanding the things and items that God eventually told me to get rid of (which I will share about in another article), about 60 days in to my readings, I lost my car. Now, I didn’t actually lose it, but lets just say my past (cough parking tickets) caught up to me, and I walked outside one day and my car was gone. Now this is a mixed revelation obviously, between my needing to grow in maturity, stewardship, and just plain following the law, but also a revelation in the additional need for isolation and the need to spend more time in the presence of God instead of again running to the first brunch or social event. I’m really good about staying focused Monday through Friday, but as soon as the weekend hits, I’m ready to let loose and blow wherever the wind takes me. This is not to say there is anything wrong with that, but it had become abundantly clear that God wanted me to truly sit still and focus on developing my relationship with him through his Word and continuing to deepen this journey. So yes, for more than two weeks until a literal miracle happened and I got my car back, I was stuck in the house with just me, my dogs and God. If that sounds miserable to you then, let’s talk, because I’ve definitely been there and I am not judging. However, I have to say during that period of time, I felt like I was on vacation and I emerged feeling so alive and rejuvenated, and I promise you all I was doing was praying, reading my Bible, doing puzzles, working from home and catching up on a few TV shows. During those weeks, I lost my car, but I gained so so much more.
4. No More Anxiety/Inner Peace
Now exactly where the anxiety was stemming from is a long story for another article. However, at one point my anxiety had begun to take over my life. It had completely robbed me of any and all ability to experience true joy and happiness. There were even moments where it had become so bad the anxiety was manifesting into physical symptoms such as panic attacks that caused my whole body to shake and/or go numb. Not to mention, I also have some health prognoses that contribute to dramatic mood shifts etc. So, I totally understand the feeling of, “this is not fixable.” Let me level with you, because anxiety is absolutely not a one-trick pony, and as I mentioned previously, I have and still continue to go to outpatient family and relationship therapy. Any medical help that you are seeking for any mental health issues or diagnoses should absolutely still be continued until your medical professional says otherwise. However, I knew I was at a point where I needed something more, and the next step for me was medicine. Once I began reading my Bible every day it wasn’t like I was overcome with peace due to the encouragement of the words I was reading. I mean seriously, I started with Genesis, which has of course the creation of the world, but also a lot of murdering and incest. Not the most peaceful of readings. I think what happened here in terms of my personal alleviation from anxiety was nothing short of a miracle, but also very simply the power of God’s Word. Remember, God’s Word literally says “6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Phillipians 4:6–7. There are so many Bible verses about peace, many which have to do with our ability to access Jesus Christ who will instill that peace within us. Well, the Bible also says that Jesus Christ is the Living Word, so any time we read God’s word we are accessing all that Jesus Christ died on the cross to give us, including peace. John 6:51.
5. No More Depression/Suicidal Thoughts
Anxiety and Depression are obviously not the same which is why I decided to make them a separate section. However, the point is similar to the one I just made above. I had been experiencing some extremely difficult and depressing thoughts plagued with a series of suicidal ideation that on some days became so dark, I didn’t know if I was ever going to make it out. This darkness as well as anxiety, was a completely lie and plot from the enemy himself, but at the time I couldn’t see it, and even when I started to feel relief it would be an even longer time before I truly realized that I was being directly attacked by the forced of darkness. Ephesians 6:12. More importantly however, because I was still in Genesis and Exodus in my first 100 days of reading, I was still not reading anything peaceful or particularly “healing” towards my depression. Very few points during my reading days, did I get up and say “wow what an encouraging word, that I can take with me into the day.” I’m sorry but Genesis nor Exodus, and certainly not Leviticus, are full of ultra-spiritually rejuvenating motivational passages like Deuteronomy and Psalms and most of the New Testament. I think for me, that is how I know that I was experiencing God’s Living Word. Literally, just by reading His word, WITH CONSISTENCY, I began to experience his peace and his presence just began to stay with me throughout the day and then throughout the week. The spirit of darkness literally lifted off of me and I while of course I’ve had sad moments (experiencing human emotion is normal and health), but I have yet to seep into the dark depths of depressive thoughts and suicidal ideation.
6. Able to Experience Joy Again
For a really long time, I had become numb. Have you ever just lost all ability to experience any real pleasure. Everything, I mean everything literally becomes forced. You’re chasing after a high you once had or experienced, maybe through drinking, sex, drugs, or possibly and hopefully something less toxic. No judgment, as I am on both ends of the spectrum. Either way, I am hoping you have learned or will be opening to learning that none of those things can provide true joy, and even while the majority of pleasure giving items are acceptable in moderation, as humans when we are searching for healing and fulfillment we tend to pile up as many of these small little moments as possible and then we place them at the forefront of our lives and absolutely at the forefront before God. Most of these things however, can only extend an artificial joy or artificial sense of fulfillment, and only God can truly provide a sustaining everlasting fulfillment. You probably are picking up on the pattern now, but exactly how do you obtain this sustaning everlasting fulfillment? Well, apparently it's through Jesus Christ who is the LIVING WORD. So naturally, as I continued reading my word (through the non-joyous books of Genesis, Exodus, and Leviticus), feeling returned to my body and emotions began to course through my veins again. I was alive again! No, seriously, I am back to laughing during funny things on TV and crying during the sad parts or even something sad on the news. It’s hard to explain, but I had truly become so numb and lifeless and there are no words to explain the feelings of the LifeForce of Jesus Christ entering my spirit and rejuvenating me to be able to live a real human experience.
7. Back to Authentically ME!
Now if you’re really following along, you know exactly how this story ends. Obviously, following the course of some severely significant low points in my life, I lost myself. I lost my sense of self. I had also lost my ability to show up authentically, as K. Ann and be unregrettably ME! Something, I actually believe happens to a lot of us as we age and enter new stages of responsibility, pressure, and unrealistic expectations. If you’ve even been blessed (I don’t ever want to call it a curse…but it’s felt that way at times), with the desire to please other people and give and give until there is nothing left to give, then you know all to well how easy it can be to lose yourself in the habit of giving or even lose yourself specifically in another human being that you are constantly giving to. Giving is important, loving unconditionally is important, and doing what you can within your own capacity to make others happy is a special gift that you should never try to give away. In fact, with some targeted therapy, healthy boundaries, and God’s Word, you should never give that aspect of yourself up completely. Please know however, that it will NOT and should NOT ever look like the “people pleasing” version of yourself that ends up completely lost, desheveled, and still seeking validation from others. That is why I emphasize therapy because typically this personality trait actually calls for some serious soul searching. A lot of articles apparently to come just based on this first article alone, but I will absolutely try to share with you all exactly how I became set free from “people pleasing”. However, and most importantly, God’s Living Word helped me to find freedom. Once I obtained that freedom, I was then able to find my identity in Christ. This is a strange concept to most, but it’s simply understanding who you are as a child of God based on what the Word of God says about you. Also, you can understand this through reading God’s word and learning who God is. When you know that you are a child of God, but you don’t know what that means because, you don’t understand who you father is, it doesn’t really mean anything. Reading your Bible and learning who the true and living God actually is, should activate a sense of belonging and identity in God’s family. There are so many verses that talk about our identity.
I am Complete: “So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority.” Colossians 2:10.
I am New: “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old things have passed away. Behold, all things have become new.” 2 Corinthians 5:17
I am Alive: “Even when we were dead through our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ — by grace you have been saved.” Ephesians 2:5
Now most of these verses are New Testament, and obviously, I haven’t reached these books in my reading 100 day reading journey yet. However, sentiments from all of these verses and many others are sprinkled about all throughout the Old Testament. This 100 days is to commemorate a hallmark in my journey, but it is only just the beginning. I am absolutely, pushing myself to read through the entire Bible. No specific timeframe, just consistent daily intention communion and Bible Study, with an open heart and a vessel ready to be poured into by God’s Holy Spirit. I pray that whether you embark on a journey to read your Bible daily or you decide to commit to a different spiritual journey, that you will keep God as your absolute center. Also, make sure to come back for more stories, if you found this one helpful or encouraging. I will be sharing more about my Bible Studies, journey to Jesus, and various other yet closely related topics.
Spreading love always from my heart to yours! — K. Ann
