Are we there yet?

Listen, I don’t know how many times I have to tell you. It takes a long time to get there and we got lost. Remember when we went on the wrong side of the tracks?

Yeah. But that’s because I had to go pee. I am going to take a nap now. I am tired and I want to go home. Wake me up when I’m home. My little sister is there.

Look! Stop being difficult. I am going to say it again — this trip is going to take a long time. We aren’t going home anytime soon.

We have been traveling for a year!

I know, I know…but it’s a long trip, ok?

Screw you. I’m going to close my eyes and count to three. I better be home in 3 seconds. You are an idiot.

Kid, you wash that potty mouth right now. You are getting a time-out when we get home.

“When” we get home? Earlier this year you said “if” we get home like we were never going home. Sometimes you look up at the sky and ignore me. I wish you would just make up your mind. The sun is coming down and that makes me sad.

But aren’t sunsets beautiful? And sunsets mean new days are coming. When you grow up, I am going to share a guidebook I wrote for you. This world is a tricky place. For example, adults have trouble with communication and…


The answer is yes — sunsets are beautiful and so are your eyes. We will get home, I promise you. It’s been one year and I’ll drive till my back gives out. I can’t believe it’s been one year. We have met amazing people on the way and I’ll never forget them. Let’s make sure we remember their directions.


You know sometimes I look at the sun but I am not ignoring you. I’m always thinking about you but I get distracted because there’s so much beauty in this world. You can’t help but savor every last bit. I savor it because there’s always a chance you can’t get it again. I know we will get home but you never know.

Dude, I’m awake and I have been listening the whole time. Mom said to give this to you when you go on these long rants. She’s been watching us the whole time and is in the back seat riding with us. She’s just under the blanket right now.

“Dear — you get like this when you are scared. Stop it. It’s been one year and no one cares. Stop looking at the sun. You will go blind”

Ok, you are right. I am scared but I can’t help but thank everyone and everything great on this ride. I feel so grateful but I’m also sad and angry. I’m so sorry we are lost. And let me say —



Ok guys. Looks like we are about to pass 2017. Sure was a long drive huh?

Bye 2017. Think I’ll remember you for the rest of my life.

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