Look, I’ll be the first to say that guns can be cool. Beyond needing to protect yourself and your rights. There’s an art, a beauty to a lot of guns. There’s history. There’s engineering. There’s thought that goes into every detail. That’s cool. I understand how people can get into that. Especially coming from me, a “car guy” — really, these same descriptors can describe my passion for things on wheels.
But let’s talk about how shitty achieving car ownership can be. First! At a certain age, you have to prove your worthiness of driving a car. That’s because cars are dangerous. We, as a nation, have decided that we want to ensure that people are fit to be driving a car. That way, we can minimize the number of deaths due to motor vehicles — even the accidental ones. Could you imagine if teenagers could just drive a car, whenever they wanted, with no requisite tests?
They’d probably kill someone. That’s why we test them.
So, for those of us lucky enough, we waited and waited with excitement. Waited for the chance to…take a test. A test just to prove that we could be permitted to operate a car with supervision from someone with more experience. A test administered at one of the worst places in the world: The DMV.
Then, after getting experience of our own, we had to take another test. This time, it’s under watchful eye of someone from the state. They’re there to make sure that we’re qualified to drive a car on our own. All this for the everyday car. Whether it’s a Pinto or a Porsche — say, Cobra 380 to a gold-plated, 50-cal Desert Eagle for those concerned with guns—you have to go through all of this just to get your driver’s license.
Okay, you’ve got your license. Awesome. Now you need a car.
But before you can buy one at the dealership, or drive one legally, you need insurance. Insurance just incase something happens. At least the bare minimum, liability insurance.
“Liability car insurance covers damages to another person resulting from an accident you cause.” — Allstate
Across America, you’re required to have liability insurance incase you damage property or injure a person. That’s because we’ve all accepted that cars are inherently dangerous. That accidents happen. And that they can cause a lot of damage.
Licensed. Insured. Ready to buy.
Beyond affording a car, once you own one, you have to register it. That involves paying taxes for some. But also getting it inspected, just to make sure that it’s safe to use on the road. And maybe even emissions testing — you know, so you’re not slowly injuring the Earth or its inhabitants. After that, you’re ready to drive. You can drive anywhere! (Well, almost anywhere. Mostly anywhere that’s been set aside for motor vehicles by the government.)
Somehow, all of this is accepted as normal and necessary. But gun control?
That’s insane. How dare anyone even think about controlling my guns? I have a right to own them.