Feeling 22 (?)

It’s 15 August 2016, marking the day of my 22nd birthday. Challenges are everywhere, and I have less than a clue on how to deal with them. Many a times I said I think I’ve bitten off more than I can chew, but my intuition tells me that there’s an ulterior reason behind all this. What is it?

It’s also the day I feel God’s whisper amidst all the apparent chaos, telling me it’s all ok. It was also the day when I felt the deep need to realign my life again, to things that matter, to focus outright on things which represent who I am, rather than just shooting in the dark and hoping to land a bullet. A familiar story was of how Elijah calmly challenged the 850 prophets of Baal doing something seemingly impossible, with his unwavering faith (at least in that case) and lit up a whole sacrifice, as though it was everyday ritual (see 1 Kings 18). My screaming prayer was to ask God to teach me how to take it one step at a time, without realising that I should be placing all my trust in Him instead.

When I first heard of the fuel station story and how we need to spend time with God to refuel that part of ourselves, my almost immediate response was to think it immature. In my mind went, “how can someone equate time with God and a petrol station?” and “what a poor analogy”. It was not until I was experiencing the need for God first hand that I found this analogy to be true, and so it rings to me as a reminder.

On this day forward, simple reminders to myself:

To always remember who matters to you and cherish them abundantly

To not take things too seriously and learn to take it one step at a time, all the while enjoying the whole process

If you can’t do something or are bound to fail at something, there is probably something to learn from it anyway, take it easy.

Life is not a series of systems and stages we go through, to win one and advance to the next, it is all its’ own unique journey, enjoy it while it lasts.

To discover that core, the real reason for everything that I do, what I find my passion in, and that underlying motivation for anything I want to do and to stick to it and always remind myself (IMPORTANT)

While I may think it easy and list it down as it is above, the real ongoing of it is much much more complicated. Some simple covenants to remember while being continuously showered with commitments and responsibilities, to keep myself in check.